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Is dating a married man better than a single one?

17 December 2014, 18:28 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  Ever since that law about men marrying as many women as they can here in Kenya pulled through, it is not the men alone who are jumping for joy but the women too. Leave alone that absurd theory that for every seven women only one man is available, but because the new Kenyan woman does not want to work from the ground with the man but would rather just come in when he has made it.

We are quickly learning that potential is not always the key because all of us have really bad sight where that is concerned.

Who wants to waste all her valuable years and in a few years look back and just think of how much better she could have done. But the ones who are allowed to be hurt are the ones who stuck by the man when he was barely anything and they put in work, time and effort to make it work for them so that he could build that empire that another woman comes and dethrones her from.

At least there should be a law that dictates for her to have partial consent especially if half of everything is from her sweat too. Sit in those shoes for a minute as a woman and just think how bad you feel when someone takes something from your handbag, it is all about territory and even I cannot stand the idea of sharing like that. But what really is the allure of the already married man, because it is not just the money involved.

Any number of single men have money-but what is the extra that the married man has.

You do not have to experiment

Like mentioned earlier, as woman, there is nothing worse than betting on potential that was never there in the first place and waste time. Proof is in the presence- you can see how he treats the wife, the children, himself, his family and even his associates. So for that woman who is willing to settle for being second, then that works for her because she sees that she will be well taken care of and sorted.

The security

A man who is married, has most of his affairs settled because he has already learned how to plan. No risky investments that do not fall through to deal with. Fear of going bankrupt because that plan did not work. Or worse, being ousted from your home. The married man, has it made as compared to his counterparts whom are still trying to figure out what they need to do with what they do not even have yet.

He does not waste your time

He comes in, states his case, if you are interested, then you proceed. If not, he moves on to the next one. He will not sit there and lie to you especially if you know his situation. If you settled to be a mistress then that is your fault-do not think he will divorce the wife.  As compared to the single man, most are not even sure that you are the one for them, they will string you along for years, and in the end make a fool out of you just because they found someone better. At the end of the day you end up losing and settling.

You are aware of what you are getting yourself into

You know he is married, those who claim they did not have a clue-at the end of the day, the subconscious knew something was not 100%. But thing is, you will not lie to yourself that all his time is yours, you know what he does at least, and not worry you are marrying a thug. The situation is upfront from the beginning.

Not that I am advocating for people to go after other people’s husbands, but just a few thoughts form someone I know who is being pursued by a married man. And for her the pros of being with one outweigh those of being with a single man. 

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