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In relationships, grass is never greener elsewhere

29 July 2015, 18:03 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - If I wanted to lie, I would say, ‘No, there isn’t because love and relationships is hard work!’ It would be a lie because no one goes to the carnival with the intent of boring themselves to death or not enjoying themselves at all.

We all go in hoping to actually have a good time and the plus is that you have someone with you. You do not have to be anxious about picking anyone up, getting someone’s number or ‘hooking’ up with someone. You have all that covered and what remains is just to have some fun. That’s is the idealistic approach.

On the other hand, as a young couple, you will always be reading and getting advice on ways of how not to let any of that die out. On how to keep it ‘cool’ and ‘fresh’. How to always appreciate your partner and never allow them to doubt that you love them. Easy in the beginning.  Buy the flowers, cook a meal, help with chores, write a note or send a text and every other thing that you liked to do in the beginning but after a while all of that changes. What was enjoyable becomes strenuous because you need to keep up.

That is when you begin to wonder that maybe you can find someone better who will not demand so much of you. Someone who will not stress you but be practical about everyday life.

You will lose sight of why you appreciated your partner and start looking outside for that imaginary person you might meet if you just looked closely enough. That never happens either but what happens is that you start to ruin a relationship or a young marriage that might have stood a chance.

You choose an imaginary partner instead of choosing the one that you have right now and make it work with them. That is how a lot of young couples leave their partner in the hopes of finding something better that never ever pans out. You started looking out for the bad in your partner instead of appreciating the good that they had in them and that you saw.

If you want your relationship to survive, what you need to do is to choose to stay with your partner and forget about those you are yet to meet. Meeting them is a whole different ball game and being honest enough with your then partner and informing them about it is appositive. Ruining a good relationship on the other hand on some make believe is what gets a lot of people negative results. It is human nature to want to make our work easier and make it better for us. For our selfish purposes. Not for the good of everyone. Yes, you can actually find someone that is easier to love but you did not chose to wait on them or chose them but the one you have at the moment. Remember that reason and it might be what you need to make your work easier.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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