If he wants a DNA test?
08 June 2015, 14:45
Nairobi - I once dated someone who told me to my face that if we ever got married and had children he would get a DNA test done on the child. Wait, let me finish. We had not dated for ten years, where some mistakes could have been done or where a person got bored and strayed or someone cheated. We were still a young couple. So none of that had happened yet but at that point when someone is already telling you that they will have DNA test done and you are yet to make them disapprove your loyalty, you know you are about to be fouled in that relationship.
At that point you know their disloyalty of you is not even about you and what you have done but some baggage they got from somewhere else. At that point you also know that your relationship no matter how far it goes, it is already doomed.
I must have been a very stupid female because he just figured he could tell me that and not feel apologetic about it. While we were having that discussion (I will not call it an argument because I did not take it to be that serious) I was laughing the whole time and telling him how I would leave. It has come to surprise me now that even at that point my subconscious self also knew that it was not right- it even put forth a half-ass*d attempt of a threat. I wish I could really get into it but this man was already set that all his children were getting DNA tests.
You know long ago, when a woman gave birth to your children, or children that were not your children; you had to take her word whether you liked it or not. If you did not like how that nose did not look like yours or your great grandfather’s, that was your problem. That is how the Kikuyu women would apparently get rid of her husband’s ‘flawed’ genes-by looking for other evolved genes from other sperm donors that were not married to her! I am sure they were not the only ones either.
But the times have changed and these days you only need a cotton swab with some good handling tactics and a couple of shillings and you have your answer! These days you can just know if a woman is trying to fool you.
This days, men are doing it all in secret, they do not even tell their women, their wives what they are up to and that includes the children that they have. They are checking if they are theirs too. They get the DNA test done in secret just for their piece of mind. You are sitting there with a man that is insecure about you. Does not trust you enough and even if the first time you proved him wrong, albeit unknowingly, he will do it again and again because these days that is just what men do. They check their child’s DNA just to make sure that that colleague they met at the last end of year party has not been up to any bad habits with you.
The only time a man is allowed to take a paternity test is when you are the one who was messing around with all those women, and she comes to make a claim on you. When a woman sues for upkeep and you only met her at some motel on River Road at some point in time that you cannot even recollect. That is when you ask for a DNA test and no one will blink twice.
What men fail to understand is that for women a DNA test is just not some science, it is not just a swab and a sheet of paper. It is about the level of trust in your relationship. A wise man never questions a woman on the paternity of her kids. You are also indirectly calling her a whore! When someone tells you women know the father of their child, it is because we do know the father of the child. You as the man also know the type of female that you can ask for a DNA test from. Bad attracts bad, so if you were running around with bad company chances are you were sleeping with bad company too.
Problem comes in when you have been doing it for many years, get a good wife and start getting clouded in your judgment. Because you now remember Monica who slept with a whole team made your friend Bill take the blame, Bill was too dumb not to see it. If it is your wife or girlfriend that is the worst stunt you can ever pull on her. You will get the DNA test not because you bark louder or your have bigger muscles but because if she says it is yours, the child is yours. Look at it this way, she is not stupid not to know that you can get the test done now.
But you need to remember, you will have put her in a position not to trust you, you will not see the bad effects in the short term but in the long term she will start facing them and you will not like the results. At the back of her mind she is also wondering whether that is what you are doing out there that makes you feel like you can make the same claims on her. Which in most cases it is true-that is what you have been doing! You will have just call your wife a whore! You just never realize it because to you it is just a result on paper.
When you ask for that test be sure to consider the repercussions. If you were right and they were not yours then score 1 for you on that board but if you got a 0 remember that there are a lot more 0s about to come into your marriage or relationship.
You can also just be wise and do it in secret and keep the result to yourself unless it’s giving her a guilty verdict. Because if I was her, I would be leaving your insecure self behind!
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