I have been trapped by a man... Don't be
27 August 2015, 16:33
Nairobi - I have been caught in a trap. My advice to you is do not get
caught in such a trap.
What trap am I talking about? Taking care of a man that is
not yours, has never been yours, has never claimed you and is not in the
process of doing so. That is what we call serving up some wife/girlfriend
duties without making someone earn them. Learning things while you are still
young is always a good thing because you later make better decisions and even
if no one gives you a pat on the back, you give yourself one.
I am a very blunt person, and in that, I have forced my
mother to be one as well. So I decided to tell her about my latest escapade
with one Kenyan male species that like to identify as “gentlemen”.
I go to the dentist to get some work done, he
has my number because I am a client but it soon becomes obvious that he wants
to move me out of his client zone. After a couple of conversations, no date,
not even a glass of water, nothing! He asks me, ‘sasa, utakuja kunivisit lini
kwangu?’ (When will you come visit me at my house?) The nerve! But I have such
a nice calm resting face that I just smiled and said I do not know. He already expects wife duties and he has yet
to even offer me a glass of water.
This is when my mother cuts in and takes over the
conversation. ‘You girls these days are so easy. I hope you do not jump in and
just go to bed with every man you meet.’
You can get angry that a man is not giving you a title after
all you have done for him. It is allowed but it is not his problem but yours.
Why did you allow it to happen in the first place?
It could have been easy for me to agree to go to his house
and cook the meal because I want to show him I am a good cook. Show him why he
should make me his girlfriend. Thing is it never ends with eating and before
you know it you are in some man’s bed. Then it becomes an everyday occurrence.
You still do not have a title though. That is the trap I am talking about.
Now there you are having sex with the man and making him
meals. Mending shirts and doing laundry. Are you a girlfriend or just a maid
who has sex with the owner of the house? Harsh but that is the truth. It is
good to have those qualities that men admire. It is good to know how to do all
those things that men appreciate: cooking, cleaning, help pay the bills, have
sex and spread the bed too. By the time you are done and start realizing you
are getting nowhere with the guy.
You are drained, he has another roaster to go
through and you realize all this time, you were taking care of another woman’s
man. Upgrading him so that she can just swoop in for the good parts. That is
what is called being easy. Handing out privileges to someone who has not
claimed you as his.
For the latest on national news, politics, sport, entertainment and more follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page!
Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.