I don't date men who will not help me
25 May 2015, 18:23
Nairobi - I was having a conversation with a resurrected girlfriend of
mine and she was bemoaning the fact that I am an introvert whom for the past
few months-I even think it’s since the beginning of this year-has not been
It is not that I have not received any invites to be
somewhere or lack social circles. But I do know how to sit down and prioritize
between being broke and having fun. I dislike… no, I hate waking up Monday morning
and bemoaning an expense I could have avoided especially if I cannot see the
results-namely, alcohol. I subscribe to a couple of laws with regards to my
time, fun and money.
If you live in Ngong road, and you invite me to Brew Bistro.
I live in Kajiado, you can bet that you have already lost me there because I
will calculate the cost to you versus the cost to me. Obviously, you are not
getting any costs. Your taxi is KES 200 while mine is KES 3000. That’s an
evolutional theory that has happened right there on the shilling and I am yet
to buy drinks.
If you are getting driven there while I have to trudge
around in matatus, that is no fun for
me. Let me get ‘high’ in the house!
You have male company, I have me company. I will look at my
purse and I think whether I can afford my own drink. If I cannot, then keep
that night out.
After I explained my
48 laws of not going out to her, she now figured the importance of boyfriends
in your life.
I asked her why she thought my situation was worse than hers
yet she was in the same boat. She answered that she is yet to get anyone that
can spark an interest in her.
I do not believe in that love at first sight, or instant
chemistry or romance. I asked her to further elaborate because I did not think
those were good enough answers as far as I am concerned.
Her answer was simple; why waste both my time and yours when
I already know there is nowhere the both of us are headed relationship-wise.
Which made a lot of sense to me after she had just said it.
I am not against dating, but who are you dating just because you are bored and
need that thrill that comes with having someone with you every weekend as
compared to being alone.
She has been in the dating pool for a while, I am not saying
she has given up but it’s like exams, you experience a burnout after all that
ruckus. You just need to take a backseat from all that.
She has not given up
but she will not be like other women who stay in an unsatisfying situation just
because they are afraid of spending afew lonely weekends.
Most times you know there is nothing there with this man or
woman but you just keep going on those boring dates hoping they will eventually
wow you with something that you never expected. You wait for that pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow. But damn! That rainbow is starting to be endless.
Then you remember dozing in front of the television watching the Trend last
week and you sit up straighter hoping that you will not go back to that.
Wasting every ones time in the process.
Do not let people waste their time and energy and money
(money is really important)on you if you already know there is nothing there! If
you keep up with that, it will be too late by the time you realize that you are
piling up a lot of worthless clutter that was never going to help your
situation in any way other than with free movies and food. If that is what you
want then, do you!
Otherwise, you will be like that hoarder, whom when it comes to letting everything go, they settle for one to
lessen the sting of throwing everything out.
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