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I can be loyal like Michelle.. BUT...

03 August 2015, 14:03 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I remember when POTUS, US President Barrack Obama was visiting Kenya just recently and all photos of him, and wife Michelle, resurfaced. Accompanied by their story of growing from nothing to being something. Together.

Then the Kenyan gentlemen had something to say about how Kenyan women are always complaining about never finding the right kind of man when they shun them all the time because they look like they are representing for poverty. Might be true and it might also not be true. How I always choose to look at things, is that, for every one bad seed, there is always ten better seeds that are actually growing.

The Kenyan guys were talking about how loyalty pays off in the long-run, not in the short-term. It is true. Loyalty to my career will pay off maybe a decade from now. Not now. Loyalty to my business will pay off in the same period or an even longer period. Loyalty to family is a 50-50 as we all know. Pays off and at times it never pays off. In the same, loyalty to your woman or man; MIGHT pay off. At times it never does and that is why we are having this conversation.

A man who is asking for loyalty from his woman but does not extend the same is a very common thing. I was going to go for mystery but I realized there are very many of you. That is where the problem lies. Why would you expect her to give you something that you are not giving back? Also why should she show loyalty to a man that is not right for her.

When a woman chooses to leave you, it is not because she had nothing better to do with her time but it is because she a. realized she was worth much better effort b. you were not meant for her or c. you were not going anywhere.

A guy is dating her for years, never pops the question and he cries foul because she chose to leave and move on. You want her to wait on you to get ready when she knows she is ready but because you are not, we should all fold our hands and wait for you to make up your mind?

You look like you have some potential. She supports you. At times she even splits her salary because she is sure that you are the good guy. Now, there are very many scenarios to this one. The potential decides to get comfortable and chooses to just never move from point A to point B. He makes it and decides to act a fool and be with someone better (someone who looks as good as his new stature in life) or he is grown enough to realize her efforts and chooses to be with her and no one else. So Kenyan men, let me ask, what do the most of you choose to do in the above scenarios? Answer yourself honestly and then let us start to understand each other.

I will obviously not want to be loyal with someone who has chosen to settle for his lot in life and not do something about it especially if I already have a vision in mind for what I would like to achieve and where I would like to be. If you want someone who is loyal to your lack of development, you can get that too. But do not choose a woman who has a strong will and clear mind and ask her to settle with you. That is why you clash. If POTUS had decided, ‘Oh, now I have found my father’s land. It does feel comfortable just living this villager life and carrying sacks of whatever on my back. Smoke cigarettes from that local. I can do this and not mind all that hustle back in America.’

Do you think Michelle would have stuck it out? She would not. They had a vision together and that is why they grew together. That is why she was loyal. I would be loyal too to a man who never gives up.

I would be loyal to a man that I can clearly see is giving me his effort. Not asking for the moon but as a woman you already know what the man you are with is capable of when it comes to you as his woman. So, there is no way, you are going to be giving me 25% today, 50% tomorrow; I give you 100% and we are in agreement. I cannot choose to be loyal to half measures. That is not me and that is not what most Kenyan women want.

So when you sit down. You are thinking how you want a woman who is loyal. Be ready for the woman who will demand the same from you. She will push you out of your comfort zone. That is what loyalty in a good relationship does.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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