I can be loyal like Michelle.. BUT...
03 August 2015, 14:03
Nairobi - I remember when POTUS, US President Barrack Obama was visiting Kenya
just recently and all photos of him, and wife Michelle, resurfaced. Accompanied
by their story of growing from nothing to being something. Together.
Then the Kenyan gentlemen
had something to say about how Kenyan women are always complaining about never
finding the right kind of man when they shun them all the time because they
look like they are representing for poverty. Might be true and it might also
not be true. How I always choose to look at things, is that, for every one bad
seed, there is always ten better seeds that are actually growing.
The Kenyan guys were talking about how loyalty pays off in
the long-run, not in the short-term. It is true. Loyalty to my career will pay
off maybe a decade from now. Not now. Loyalty to my business will pay off in
the same period or an even longer period. Loyalty to family is a 50-50 as we
all know. Pays off and at times it never pays off. In the same, loyalty to your
woman or man; MIGHT pay off. At times it never does and that is why we are
having this conversation.
A man who is asking for loyalty from his woman but does not
extend the same is a very common thing. I was going to go for mystery but I
realized there are very many of you. That is where the problem lies. Why would
you expect her to give you something that you are not giving back? Also why
should she show loyalty to a man that is not right for her.
When a woman chooses to leave you, it is not because she had
nothing better to do with her time but it is because she a. realized she was
worth much better effort b. you were not meant for her or c. you were not going
A guy is dating her for years, never pops the question and
he cries foul because she chose to leave and move on. You want her to wait on
you to get ready when she knows she is ready but because you are not, we should
all fold our hands and wait for you to make up your mind?
You look like you have some potential. She supports you. At
times she even splits her salary because she is sure that you are the good guy.
Now, there are very many scenarios to this one. The potential decides to get
comfortable and chooses to just never move from point A to point B. He makes it
and decides to act a fool and be with someone better (someone who looks as good as his new stature in life) or he
is grown enough to realize her efforts and chooses to be with her and no one
else. So Kenyan men, let me ask, what do the most of you choose to do in the
above scenarios? Answer yourself honestly and then let us start to understand
I will obviously not want to be loyal with someone who has
chosen to settle for his lot in life and not do something about it especially if
I already have a vision in mind for what I would like to achieve and where I
would like to be. If you want someone who is loyal to your lack of development,
you can get that too. But do not choose a woman who has a strong will and clear
mind and ask her to settle with you. That is why you clash. If POTUS had
decided, ‘Oh, now I have found my father’s land. It does feel comfortable just
living this villager life and carrying sacks of whatever on my back. Smoke
cigarettes from that local. I can do this and not mind all that hustle back in
Do you think Michelle would have stuck it out? She would
not. They had a vision together and that is why they grew together. That is why
she was loyal. I would be loyal too to a man who never gives up.
I would be loyal to a man that I can clearly see is giving
me his effort. Not asking for the moon but as a woman you already know what the
man you are with is capable of when it comes to you as his woman. So, there is
no way, you are going to be giving me 25% today, 50% tomorrow; I give you 100%
and we are in agreement. I cannot choose to be loyal to half measures. That is
not me and that is not what most Kenyan women want.
So when you sit down. You are thinking how you want a woman
who is loyal. Be ready for the woman who will demand the same from you. She
will push you out of your comfort zone. That is what loyalty in a good
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