I am picky with men and I love it!
13 July 2015, 20:00
Nairobi - I work from home, most of the time. Meaning, I rarely leave
the house to go to town or a lot of places for anything other than personal
errands. As long as I have money in my pocket the rest is extra. I am also
single, meaning most of the men that I do meet are around the place that I
live, when I go to the market or basically when I am just around the
neighborhood. Meaning that the pool of potential dates is further decreased.
And if I continue with this state, I might just age as a
spinster because from my neighborhood, you do not want to date the men that
live there. They are the type that I could create a very long list of
ineligibility if I just gave myself the time. Does that make me picky? Maybe
because I am not the only female around and majority of them are choosing these
same guys that I frown upon.
I will not get into what my problem with these men are (as I
mentioned earlier the list is long). But as a women I do know for a fact, there
are just some lines some of us cannot cross. It is not that we have a list but
there are just some things that a particular women cannot deal with.
A man will tell me that I am ‘feeling myself’ too much. But
most men do things archaically, just like the next and next man will do: get a
woman (he can decide not to wife her), have children and bam! He is done. She
just has to tick this boxes (for most Kenyan men)-looks like she can be
submissive. She pretends this part until he is hooked. Looks (beautiful genes
will not hurt) like she can give birth and be a good mother (cooks and cleans)
and treats me nicely (regular sex when I feel like it and does not ask too many
That is why men will never understand. He will look at a
brother and for him, he has a more upstanding character than his but will not
understand why his sister is being so choosy.
It is not that we are being picky, it is just that we are
being picky with whom we transfer all our caring and nurturing tendencies to.
It is not that we feel we are on a certain level (although this might apply in
some cases) we are on a certain level. In everything.
For example, maturity. Sometimes, I just have a conversation
with a friend who lives down the street and I just shake my head internally
because he reminds me of why I will not get out of the house to meet someone at
their local for a ‘round’!Let me tell
you why. Idling at the corner is a hobby and buying a can of Guarana for your woman is a date! The
phrase to go with this is;’ these women need to realize, times are hand and what
she will not do, the next one will do’. That is why I do not blame them
or am I angry because they are not behaving as they should.
That is why I am picky, to you, and go for what the
next man is willing to do. That is all. So for the man who is being
bitter because I will not bend to his ex’s standards, it is not you, it is just
me. Just wait for the next one who will not be as picky as I am. And I will
wait for the one that is on my level of doing things.
If you are a woman, do not be bitter and
bemoan what one or ten men are doing, just change your quarters and look for
the one that will be up to your standards. Why waste all that energy, cooking
for a man that will not waste a day on you. Giving birth for a man that will
not afford his own child’s fees. Being stressed over a man that does not really
care if you woke up or died in the night because he is trying to show you.
Yes, you are picky but that just means you have an idea of
what you want and do not have to second guess yourself because someone else
questions you on it. There is nothing such as dying alone because the first
clown who mentioned it was right. He chews and deals miraa, you do not like
miraa. There is no two ways of getting around that. He wants to take you to
Exciting Hotel on Wednesday for a date, and order koroga; if that is not
your style, stick to that mentality. Because he will take you back there for
On the other hand, you are only allowed to be picky if you
are being reasonable about it. You cannot expect your man to gift you a Bugatti
because it was on Bellanaija, we do
not have oil Barons in Kenya. We are still growing you know!
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