How to tell someone they are bad in bed
28 January 2015, 15:22
Nairobi - Should you dump someone if they are bad in bed? Or should
you just put up with it because you do not have other options at the moment, so
they will do up until you get something better. What if you are married so you are hopefully stuck with this person for the rest of your life; making it
even harder for you because you do not want to hurt their feelings by telling
them in a rude way. But you also do not want to keep it under wraps and later
ruin your marriage by cheating.
Not women alone can be bad in bed but men can be too, it’s
just that they are made of sterner stuff and therefore made to deal with all
that pressure. A woman can always plead the vaginal case, placing the load on
the man’s shoulder. If she is a virgin in this day and age then that is even
But at times the partner you are with is all you want in
everything else except sex making it suck because you do not want to get rid of
something good for a small piece. So you would rather tell than keep it to
yourself, because sex cannot be something that can be made better with
experience and learning, no one was born knowing how to do it.
Do not be insensitive
Some people like to think of themselves as the Don Juan’s of
lovemaking and sex when they are actually not. The problem might turn to be you
rather than the other party. So when approaching the subject make it look like
you are trying to improve rather than the problem lying with them. For example,
ask them if they are satisfied and if there is something you can do to make the
whole situation better.
If your partner is open minded, then you will have a lengthy
On the other hand, if they are selfish and just shrug their
shoulders or give a far off nod rather that inquire if you are good, then you
are better off kicking them to the curb because they do not care about you.
Pick the right time
Remember the adage about there is a place and time for
everything? Then this applies here too. Not when they are from work and they are
trying to tune out. Not when you are about to have sex, because they will get
turned off and also they will get on the offensive. Also, not when they are in
the kitchen cooking because you can get burned or knifed. And not after because
they might think they rocked your boat too when they have not. Make it a time
when you are both relaxed and having a good laugh maybe, and try not to get
them on the offensive.
Do not compare them to anyone
It can be an ex, a random you do not even remember or what
you heard so and so can do. Make it about the two of you and not a so-called
Sex is only always good when there is no pressure on any
party, when two people are out to enjoy themselves and be in the moment rather
than trying too hard to make someone else feel good. Assure your partner that
it is all about their pleasure so that they can let go and just have fun. Then
move from there.
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