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How to simplify your relationship(s)

04 June 2015, 10:38 Wycliffe Mutaiti

Here are simple steps to simplifying your relationship(s):

1: Identify bad friendships, and work to fix them or end them. Do not waste time keeping up with friends who bring you down, waste your time, or bore you. Start by cutting out the relationships that do not uplift you. Cut your address book down to the good friends who you want to spend time with, and do not waste your time with people you do not really enjoy. You do not have to be rude or invite drama into this process. For example, you do not have to make ugly Facebook updates about how you are making big cuts from your contact list. Just stop making the extra effort. Take away the water and the plant will shrivel.

2: Learn to tell people “No”. One of the ways we complicate our lives is by being "agreeable." We think it helps to simplify if we let other people make the call: where to eat for lunch, what responsibilities to take on at work, whether or not you're available to drive your friend to the airport.

Being a doormat won't help you to simplify your life, it'll just get you a face full of other peoples' boot prints. Don't let yourself be trodden on. Stand up and learn to say no. Alternatively, if you tend toward being assertive and don't struggle to let people know how you feel, maybe it might simplify your life to learn to keep quiet sometimes. Don't cause drama if there's no need for drama in the situation.

Read Also: Would you date a guy whose best friend is a woman?

3: Relationships are often in flux; honor this. Your co-worker becomes a friend, you have a falling-out with Maria, and maybe you develop a crush on that cute redhead. Aim for simplicity, but understand that emotions, relationships, and all we go through can be confusing so be simple but firm.

4:Make the effort to spend time with people you like. Keep a close group of friends who mean a lot to you and make an effort to spend time with them. It is also OK to have friends and acquaintances that may not be your best friends, but bring you a lot of happiness.

5: Spend more time alone. Maintaining relationships, romantic and otherwise, gets complicated. When you're focused on other peoples' quirks and habits, you're focused less on yourself and what your needs are. You're complicating your life for others instead of simplifying it for yourself. It's not selfish to want to spend time alone, working on you. Consider going on a vacation by yourself, travelling solo to a place you've always wanted to visit. Rely on your own skills to navigate and get you through. Maybe try a solo retreat to a monastery of some kind to get really introspective.

6:Romantic relationships can complicated. The less you’ve got to deal with negotiating them, the simpler life becomes. If you’re constantly in a state of flux because of relationships, romantic or otherwise, consider spending some time working on you.

Stop dating, for a while, until you feel like your life has become simpler and more organized.

7: Spend less time on social networking. Clutter doesn't have to be physical. The psychic clutter of status updates, Tweets, and Instagram posts can do a lot to drag you down and complicate your life. Don't worry about liking everybody's newest posts or keeping a constant check on your different feeds. It'll be there when you've got a free second, and you probably won't even miss it.

If you're feeling ambitious, consider ditching social media entirely. Make face-to-face interactions your priority, and schedule catch-up sessions and phone calls with old friends who you can't keep in touch with, rather than stalking their profile online.

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