How to handle 'his' friends
09 December 2014, 19:42
Nairobi - Most of the time we like to think that the woman is the
center of her man’s world. And most of the time we realize that maybe that is
not so true because you find there is the mother that you have to contend with,
the sister, the relations, the exes that pop up and then there are the FRIENDS.
Meeting your man’s friends for the first time can be very
daunting. We may look and act like it is not very important but most of the
time it is. And not many women know how to handle this so at times she might
look, snobbish, disinterested or even rude but what she really is, is that she
is nervous and will not let on. Because at the end of the day. Men care less if
the girlfriends like him because he is not spending time with them but with
you. On the other hand, the woman would like not to be left out when the boys
are doing something with their better halves. Then there is also there opinion
which most of the time determines whether you stay or get chopped.
Most of your man’s friends will be in categories and it is
how you handle them that will make the difference.
The flirty friend
This one just likes anything that spells the word female for
him and he will do his best to make you feel like maybe you should be with him
and not your boyfriend. He will flirt
with you and when your guy is not there tell you how he should have seen you
first. Or maybe just criticize how the boyfriend treats you. More fool you if
you decide to play along and flirt with him to maybe make the boyfriend
jealous. Thing is, he is not interested and most probably you will end up
looking like an attention seeker to all his mates making you not worth his
What you should do on the other hand is establish boundaries
beforehand in your response so that no confused signals are passed.
The bad influence
The heart wants what
the heart wants, and telling your man he cannot hangout with so and so just
because you do not approve will put you in the dog pound. In his eyes you have
been there for one minute while the friend will be there when you are gone. Not
that you should entertain bad behavior but have boundaries that there
activities should not infringe on your time or relationship. If it is
something-girls, drugs- that the man is not willing to let go off then maybe
you should cut off ties because you will still not win a few years down the
Boys’ time is boys’ time
Then there is the one
that just does not like women around, that is why he did not bring his along.
Not to be an encourager but if you know you are going to be the only woman
there then look for something else to do with your time. No need to go and meet
them and look like the plus one-being miserable and finding something to
The Confirmed Bachelor
He does not want a
woman now and neither is he looking for one. Trick is, he wants your man to be
the wing man when he goes out. This one will just depend on the trust levels
and self-esteem you have when you are in the relationship. Because if you are
one to go crazy just because you are not invited to the boys night out the cut
off ties before you give everyone a migraine.
On the other hand, not all of your guys friends are
horrible, yours might actually be the bad influence even and they might be the ones holding him together.
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