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How to find a good woman

12 February 2015, 16:04 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - How do you find a good woman? The most basic flippant answer would be by being a good man but that is not always the solution. You can still see a lot of good men with harridans for women.

Another thing is that it is quite hard to spot a really good woman who will match you every step of the way, but it really is not that hard if you minus the superficiality in your tastes. We cannot blame a man for wanting a woman who will be good-looking on his arm, carry a conversation with diplomatic superiority and be engaging. Have a conversation that is not as dry as the Sahara but wetter than Budalangi after being hit by the floods.

Thing is the best women are never born but they are made. If you have a woman who is a ten on your arm then chances are she has been with men who were ten times better than she, they helped build her. They gave her class, helped her navigate with the best of them and gave her style and sass that you have come to admire. That is the truth, if she says that she was born that way then she is a liar. Then again there are those few who go to the affluent schools where they are taught all that poise, what about the rest? This is Kenya, how many people can afford paying over a million shillings per term in fees, yet we have all these women oozing class that they were not born with. I will bring you back to that statement; the best women are made and never born that way.

A good woman is seen by the people she associates with, and believe it or not, the men she dates. There is nothing wrong with touts but let’s be honest and call a spade a spade, majority of these guys cannot tell their tail end from their front. If she is dating the touts then you can be sure that her self-esteem is low and you have your work cut out for you. She can be beautiful, a graduate who is working and has seen some parts of the world that some off us only hear of but dating the touts. I can testify to this one because of a very good friend of mine. Grew up in Moscow moved in Kenya, gone to a National school and finished University in a good school. Thing is she cannot see past these makangas. I tried talking to her but it was like having a conversation with a rock because she was not budging. We almost had a bad fall out because of it. It was up to me to step back and let her do her because I was not winning. This man has her convinced he owns a ranch in somewhere in Kenya (cannot even remember where) yet he is busy holding to the rails of a matatuday in day out and you can forgive someone’s profession but this man is just bad and his company worse.

My friend has low self-esteem, has an affluent upbringing yet she dates the worst people ever and overlooks the good men. Case in point here is that, by the time her time to settle comes she will be no better with her choices than yesterday because the men she has do not build her but are takers; in it for the few rides.  The men she spends time with have made her a 4 or 3 and thus not a good woman by the associations she keeps.

Point is, if you want a good woman, you might have your work cut out for you because you will have to be bringing something to the table that helps her grow rather than dragging her in the mud. That is how the tens are made, by better men; they are never born.

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