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How to deal with the ex boyfriend

08 January 2015, 13:24 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There is an adage that goes around that goes something along the lines of birds of a feather flock together, but we still like to believe that no one else can be blamed for the behaviors, habits or characters of others.

When it comes to relationships, opposites attract is always the norm but what does it say for a woman when she has a crazy ex-boyfriend that always keeps showing up.  You know the one; that does drive-bys by your house at random times of the day or even night; calls , keeps silent then hangs up or even pops up at the office just to say hi yet he had to drive miles to get there.

The worst part is that, a woman often gets judged by any man especially one she is dating for the exes that she has. The crazier they come, the worst he thinks of you. You try to get rid of him but no way ever works.  Some of the exes that women do have in their lives keep coming back and it never is good for her when he does. Some of the reasons that these men do have can compare in the following ways.

He sees you looking good and wants to reassure himself that he is not the one who lost

This one is out just to make you feel bad because he sees you have changed for the better, even look better and carry yourself much better. Social media ruined it for a lot of people because now the crazies have a way of keeping up to date and getting information about you.  Do not cheat yourself that he really is being genuine because believe it or not what he wants is just to confirm to himself that he made the right decision in letting you go. Does not matter if you are the one who finished things off, because to him he is busy looking for those flaws that he knows he can do without but he really would still like to bring them out in you.

You brought out the worst in him

You both have moved on, but when you bump into him with his new girl, all bets are off because he wants you to see that he is happy. The point here is that he wants to blame you for every bad decision he made as with regards to your relationship. He now has changed because the person he is with now makes him a better person and not the nutcase that he was when he was with you.

Then there is the one who is out to control you

He reason that women should be independent is because most men do use your dependency on them to manipulate you. What you need to learn early on in a relationship with a man is never leave sight of who you are and what you expect from the man that you are with because the minute a man knows that your world revolves around his, he starts to disrespect you. Most women do not see this until it is too late. After you break up, do know that he knows your weaknesses and he will use them at every opportunity he gets just to see if he still has that hold on you. Do not allow it, take a step back and go the other way.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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