How to deal with the bad break-up
13 October 2014, 12:27
Nairobi - Breaking up is hard, breaking up and moving on is even harder especially when you were with someone for a long time. I have a friend who recently broke up with the boyfriend but the hard twist of this tale is this: she is now seeing someone else who is in the same circle of friends with her ex-boyfriend. I am not sure if the current guy is a rebound or what exactly he is. But I am confused because I do not understand how it works when every time she and her current boyfriend meet, the ex is there. Men are tricky because I do not even want to know what her ex is thinking. She on the other hand says that they decided to remain friends.
Some of us never move on but there is a reason why the no-contact rule between exes has been passed among generations.
THE ON-OFF RELATIONSHIP
That is what you expose yourself to if you ignore the no contact rule. You are both lonely and you feel that you need the relationship even though you do not. You have not given each other time to get over the causes of your initial break up. So, they always keep rising up. You get angry for a day or two, get back together again. In real sense, you think space in between is working for the both of you but what you really need is an official break up with no contact at all.
YOU GET HURT
You are the one who constantly gets hurt and you always wonder why. Maybe it is because you are the one that constantly looks back while the other person moves on. They are no longer obligated to you but you keep going back to them.
YOU DO NOT MOVE ON
When the ex is there, you overlook other people. You do not open yourself up to other relationships, you keep getting frustrated, you humiliate yourself when you keep going after them and they no longer want anything to do with you. The list is endless and all filled with reasons of things that just happen if you do not let go of someone when you should.
Take a step back and you might actually appreciate the benefits of staying away from the ex.
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