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How to deal with extras in dates

10 February 2015, 18:12 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - It does not necessarily have to be you asking but someone else might have asked you out.

So you go through your rituals and you head towards the venue but when you get there you find that you are rather a group of people and not just the two of you. So do you get angry and storm out or you sit down and have funny. Three is always a crowd but at times a crowd is better than two people struggling to make a conversation.

It can be tricky because the first thing that will come to your head is that maybe he is not that interested because he cannot stand the idea of spending alone time with you. The other thought that comes up is that maybe he thinks that you are not interesting enough and was afraid you will bore him with constant chatter. Point is, you are already there and you dressed up, so be open minded and have fun.

Being sulky the whole evening will make you poor company and you may miss out getting to know amazing people. Learn to be open minded when it comes to dating because if you expect the usual you might end up getting just that and wondering why you have no spark in your life.

The reason that people invite third parties or a group to a date is not because it is a you situation but maybe they would just like to break the ice with a group conversation rather than the usual getting to know you and that can be boring.

At times group activities are better ice breakers as they are spontaneous and random rather than the usual dinner date and movie which can get too tedious especially if that is what all your dates think of doing. You may actually be surprised that you might have more fun being in a group date rather than the norm.

On the other hand, inviting a third party to a date can also be offensive. Do not be surprised if you are drugging someone across the floor with you and your date suddenly gets an emergency. Not just the guys but women like bringing their friends and sisters along too. Why would you do that even when you are already warned that it may be at a fancy restaurant?

Not only are you creating an expense that someone may not have budgeted for and it was their treat but you are setting yourself up for a bad date. With the third party acting as a referee. It might seem a good idea since you tell yourself that you need a third eye to judge them but on the first date this is usually a no-no.

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