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How to deal with a proud man

15 April 2015, 19:00 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There is certain man that has lit a torch for me. He is very insistent on it. I want to extinguish it but I do realize that I am walking on very murky waters. I do not want to say something that will be very humiliating or insulting or abusive. At times when you tell a man no, chances are he thinks you are playing hard to get. When you are not and he becomes more insistent. The way this man is going out of his way to make himself more amiable towards me is the reason why I am handling this situation like a grenade and being sensitive to his feelings. Maybe my approach is bad or will make matters worse but I do not want to be the breaking point of someone.

It all has to do with his pride, a man’s pride. The pride of a man is different as compared to a woman. I will be open and admit that we usually let ours down quite so easily. We take it out of the box like cosmetics, there is a time we need it and there is a time we completely overthrow it in favor of what is prettier and shinier at the moment. A man on the other hand takes time and years to build his but it has a crack. When that crack is given a serious blow it all comes tumbling down.

A lot of us women do not know how to deal with the men that are in our lives. Kenyan women have tongues like vipers they can poison the whole body with just one word. We draw blood without second thought when something is done not to our liking. Or when somebody tests us. Most can handle it and are probably used to it but others cannot.

Majority of those who can handle it are seasoned warriors. Either he is married to some harridan back at home or he has a brood of female relatives who do not know how to mince words. In which case he could care less about your opinion, he quickly puts himself together and moves on.

When we want something done we can resort to devious tactics that the lame man would crumble under.

If the man comes home without something, the woman pulls out all the stops in her tirade. From impotency, to maybe his inability to provide the family like so and so. His lack of sexual prowess as compared to some ex she once knew. You name it, if it can draw blood she will go for the jugular. If she was cheating with his best man that is the time that it comes out.

If he is not the man that she is aspiring towards. She will list down all his lacking qualities. You do not have enough money. You do not look good. You do not have the type of job that she wants her future husband to have. Your house or neighborhood is not good enough for her. Then one that we always use, you are not on our level.

This man, does not look like he has ever encountered a Kenyan female viper. He is Kenyan but it seems he has survived all this years without being manhandled by our female species. You can tell from the way he talks and acts.

I was not about to tell him he was not my type in which case it would have gotten me into a situation of being asked more questions that would have ended into a rude conversation. So I am slowly going to evade him until he gets tired. I will not be the one to crash this man’s pride.

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