How money kills relationships
01 April 2015, 13:51
Nairobi - One of the things we all disliked growing up was how stingy
my mother was with money even my father hated how stingy she could get. If it
was not a necessity then it was not going to go into the cart. If it was not a
bill, it was not getting paid for. If she sold a house, get it out of your
heads that there will be a vacation or celebration with a big party or any such
thing. It would promptly all go to paying fees and clearing bills, the rest was
for savings and emergency. We all detested why she would make money but we
could not enjoy it. She still does it though, but as we are now grown up we
understand how my mother must have saved us from a destitute upbringing with
her stingy tendencies.
Let me explain.
You know how it is known that the women are the spendthrifts
and the men are the misers. In our family it is the opposite. Our father is the
spender while my mother is the hoarder, the miser, you name it- as long as it
is not spending money that is my mother.
We enjoyed having our father around while we were children.
He is the one that would spend the last cents in his pocket on all kinds of
snacks. Mind you maybe there was an amenity that was lacking in the house; like
the bill electricity. My father would risk the wrath of my mother for our joyous
state. We sided with him because in our child’s mind we would think, ‘I would
rather eat this chocolate in the dark than have electricity and no chocolate.’
If we were at a supermarket, we did a lot of impulse buying with our father. My
father would sell a house and have a semi-erect building to show for it
afterwards. The rest of the money disappeared with no trace. My mother would
have to step in and complete the house. The cycle can pretty much explain
Looking back I can now see why I would be afraid of poverty.
Money comes and goes- as my father is proof but if you are wise like my mother
then you will be able to educate the children and still make a living.
Point of this article is on how women should be careful in
choosing the spouse they end up with especially when it comes to money and his
Be really careful because at times I think my parents would
have been really far if not for my father’s carelessness when it came to money.
My mother says the same thing too, and not behind a bush or a closed door but
to his face. That is my mother, just upfront and straight up when it comes to
I know for a fact that if money is availed to me in lots of
quantities, I can really go through it. I will also have a viable justification
for it even though it is pointless afterwards. For me, I know I have to look
for a financial wizard as a husband to manage both mine and his money for the
sake of my family.
If you are a woman and you know you
are not good with money, look for a man who has his head screwed on straight
when it comes to financial matters. A lot of women my age are running for the
man who has the latest flashy car yet he is living in a rented apartment. He
has a car worth KES 8 million, yet he is paying rent. That is just a first
warning for you. He can pay rent but at least he had better have a home
somewhere. Worst case scenario is when you as the lady cannot think a head too
and your children get to suffer because you are both dimwits.
If you are a woman and you are wise, still look for a man
who can think straight when it comes to money. Let him not be the one strayed
by flashy cars and the latest toys or the one buying drinks for everyone at the
local pub. A month in and you are looking at each other wondering where the
next meal will come from.
You can go much farther as two financial powerhouses as
compared to one. Woe unto you if you have to be the one constantly picking up
the messes the other left behind. You pay for the household, fees, take care of
both rural homes, by the time you are done; your bank account is negative and
no development in your household.
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