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How money kills relationships

01 April 2015, 13:51 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - One of the things we all disliked growing up was how stingy my mother was with money even my father hated how stingy she could get. If it was not a necessity then it was not going to go into the cart. If it was not a bill, it was not getting paid for. If she sold a house, get it out of your heads that there will be a vacation or celebration with a big party or any such thing. It would promptly all go to paying fees and clearing bills, the rest was for savings and emergency. We all detested why she would make money but we could not enjoy it. She still does it though, but as we are now grown up we understand how my mother must have saved us from a destitute upbringing with her stingy tendencies.

Let me explain.

You know how it is known that the women are the spendthrifts and the men are the misers. In our family it is the opposite. Our father is the spender while my mother is the hoarder, the miser, you name it- as long as it is not spending money that is my mother.

We enjoyed having our father around while we were children. He is the one that would spend the last cents in his pocket on all kinds of snacks. Mind you maybe there was an amenity that was lacking in the house; like the bill electricity. My father would risk the wrath of my mother for our joyous state. We sided with him because in our child’s mind we would think, ‘I would rather eat this chocolate in the dark than have electricity and no chocolate.’ If we were at a supermarket, we did a lot of impulse buying with our father. My father would sell a house and have a semi-erect building to show for it afterwards. The rest of the money disappeared with no trace. My mother would have to step in and complete the house. The cycle can pretty much explain itself.

Looking back I can now see why I would be afraid of poverty. Money comes and goes- as my father is proof but if you are wise like my mother then you will be able to educate the children and still make a living.

Point of this article is on how women should be careful in choosing the spouse they end up with especially when it comes to money and his financial wisdom.

Be really careful because at times I think my parents would have been really far if not for my father’s carelessness when it came to money. My mother says the same thing too, and not behind a bush or a closed door but to his face. That is my mother, just upfront and straight up when it comes to money.

I know for a fact that if money is availed to me in lots of quantities, I can really go through it. I will also have a viable justification for it even though it is pointless afterwards. For me, I know I have to look for a financial wizard as a husband to manage both mine and his money for the sake of my family.

If you are a woman and you know you are not good with money, look for a man who has his head screwed on straight when it comes to financial matters. A lot of women my age are running for the man who has the latest flashy car yet he is living in a rented apartment. He has a car worth KES 8 million, yet he is paying rent. That is just a first warning for you. He can pay rent but at least he had better have a home somewhere. Worst case scenario is when you as the lady cannot think a head too and your children get to suffer because you are both dimwits.

If you are a woman and you are wise, still look for a man who can think straight when it comes to money. Let him not be the one strayed by flashy cars and the latest toys or the one buying drinks for everyone at the local pub. A month in and you are looking at each other wondering where the next meal will come from.

You can go much farther as two financial powerhouses as compared to one. Woe unto you if you have to be the one constantly picking up the messes the other left behind. You pay for the household, fees, take care of both rural homes, by the time you are done; your bank account is negative and no development in your household. 

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- MyNews24

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