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How far can a woman chase a man?

11 September 2014, 17:57 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  In this dating game, one is constantly torn between going after what they want, or take the if it was meant to be it will be approach. So do you approach the guy or do you wait around for them to come to you?

As a lady, you must have a bit of pride and identify that when a man does not want you, he does not. Do not think that if you do certain things you will be able to make him like you eventually. Using this approach will only open you up to a lot of exploitation and in our so-called progressive society, you may end up carrying a relationship in which he is only buying time with. You are the one that asks him out, its okay if you pay the first bill because, you did the asking. But when you pay for the second, third or fourth and you are the one doing the calling and texting; it is time to cut off the ties. 

Personally, I am not so brazen, that if I see someone I would like to go out with, I wink or do some other outrageous thing. The basics work; walk up to them, smile, and ask if they would like to go out with you. Obviously, there is room for rejection, you will not always get a yes. Most times you will get a no. They already are in a relationship, they do not want to date, they are just not interested, you are not their type or good-looking enough for them. Thing is, you have to take it in stride, men go through it everyday, but if you are tired of waiting on them, then open up room for rejection. Do not become emotional, calling out insults and stuff. You asked and got rejected, get over it and move on. Do not be defensive, who are you defending yourself to. If it had worked out, they would not have been in the relationship with you, so, get over it. You always have the choice of going back to the waiting game.

Read also: Washing dishes will not get you the man ladies

The worst happens when the woman ditches her pride and decides to hunt down the man even though he has made himself clear. For a while, he will entertain you, but it reaches a point where you become a nuisance and become a joke. In your head you tell yourself how much of an amazon you are and you are pulling down his fortress. What you are pulling down is your own dignity, proving to the guy how much of a right decision he made in the first place.

If you go out with a guy, and he seemed genuinely interested in you but starts acting like you are pushing him into the relationship, you should call him out about it, if he just seems to be making excuses then you are better off avoiding this one. Just move on. You do not have to necessarily give up but there are better men out there. The point is, have the decency to know when someone is interested and they are not wasting your time, or someone is just not interested and their no just means no. 

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