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How easy is marriage?

30 September 2015, 18:40 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I said marriage because we all know when it is just a relationship with no legalities we tend to look at it this way, ‘mess with me and just see how fast I can walk out!’ That is why we are all afraid of commitment, yes, even women can be afraid of not wanting to commit to you! Don’t see yourself as much of a price now, ha?

When you are an outsider looking in, you tend to have some really big opinions about other people’s affairs because if you were in their shoes you would do things differently and not allow someone to ruin your life like that. Isn’t that right?

You ask yourself why she keeps staying with that guy when he keeps hitting her. Then you reiterate to yourself, ‘Last year I broke up with that guy who barked at me and I got so scared what else he could do. As if I could ever put up with such nonsense. Please!’ As if he is my father, let me just keep waiting for the right one for me. God gives and the Lord taketh away as well.

Or, ‘why can’t he see how much of a price he is. If I was his women I could do so much better. Why is he with that hag, she does not even look good.’ Hm!

At one point I would pretty much have the same juvenile thoughts but when you brain matures you start taking stock of people’s situation and realize that one plus one does not always add up to two. Marriage complicates things and that is the truth. The sooner you accept that then that is when you realize you are ready for what it will throw at you. It changes people for either the better or the worst. We hope for the former but majority end up with the latter but deal with it. It does not look good to you but they know what they can take.

What you do not understand the person in the situation understands and is figuring it out for themselves. They also may not have the ‘I’ luxury but children may be involved, their fees are involved, their upkeep is involved, their parents are involved and that is how marriage complicates things. It no longer becomes about you and your opinion but other people’s survival.

Their partner is a serial adulterer, you do not get it but they have learnt to deal with it. This person is the most dishonest person you have never met but your friend swears by them you do not get it but they are the ones sleeping with them at night. It is none of your business. Just get married then you can have an opinion. Maybe! Because even you will find something that you will have to learn to deal with in the person you choose to commit to. One man’s meat is another’s poison.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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