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How bad is emotional cheating?

23 December 2014, 16:41 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  When you think about cheating or even talk about it, it is usually in the physical form alone and rarely does one think of flirting as cheating, emotional cheating and how they can impact negatively on a relationship.

As long as you are thinking of another person and not the one you are in a relationship with, that is still cheating. It may seem harmless in the beginning but it never is, it ends up progressing and being central in all your thoughts and eventually ruining a relationship.

If you think about someone else and what you two did or are going to do together, would rather spend more time with them, sending illicit texts or have late night conversations that you do not want your partner to know about, that is building up to cheating even though you never have a physical relationship. This is because, you start taking your partner for granted. Think of it this way, and I am sure a lot of us have been in the same situation. No matter what your partner does, even if it is gifting you with something, you would rather it have come from the other person.

This makes you less appreciative and you turn to petty remarks and belittling their efforts. You neglect them and make them feel worthless, which you do not realize at the time but you are slowly damaging the relationship that you had but in your mind you tell yourself that it is their fault for not stepping up to your expectations.

A person that cheats emotionally becomes frustrated with the partner they currently have, making up flaws that are not there to begin with. And this changes how you start looking at them. The reason why most relationships fail, it is never about being caught pants down or everyone becomes dissatisfied at the same time.

It is a gradual decline, because as time goes by, you just find something new to complain about in your relationship since your priorities shift and you measure your expectations according to what you would like from your imaginary could be relationship.

It may be that man at work, or the best friend that you are constantly with. In your mind you are making up excuses even telling them to your partner as to why your relationship is platonic. But at the end of the day, your relationship suffers because you take it too far when you dress better for them, are more affectionate with them even spend more time with them and not your partner.

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