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Help... I need a man!!

05 May 2015, 21:39 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - A while after trying to join the movement on being single and ‘liberating’ some women as I go along. I am starting to get why a lot of women run away from that title and go for prayers to get them men. It is boriiiing!

Do not get me wrong, finding the new you is all the way up there on that list. Trying to have fun all by your lonesome and having a lot of me time is good. Give yourself a few months, and a lot more weekends in the house and you start getting dizzy from boredom. What am I talking about? Not to give the men a field day, but I APPRECIATE you on this day.

When you have a man around, you cannot have conversations by yourself in your head. Yes, I can talk to my mother, talk to my sister, my friend even that man that is permanently on a friend zone. But there is that buzz that just comes from talking to your man. You can be stupid and he will not argue about it with you. If you say the clouds are looking green today, he will look for a way to justify that color for you even though you are as dumb as mud.

If you want to have an argument, the best are usually with your man because you get gifts afterwards. When you argue with your sister, your hair gets pulled and the atmosphere in that house is not that comfortable. When you argue with your mother, you are the one that ends up buying gifts. But argue with your man and even if you are the one that started it, it was stupid, he will go out of his way to make you feel better.

Let us not forget that as long as the man is around and I want to go anywhere I do not have to figure anything out. What am I talking about?

‘Hallo, honey…. I want to go out!’ Maybe for dinner or to the club. He says okay. All I have to do is get dressed and be there. Now let us take a look at the single girl’s scenario. I was invited to go to some resort a week ago to Naivasha. I had to sit down and actually think HARD. I thought I was done with that after school for a while but being single induces such problems. I had to figure out how I would get there. I had to figure out how much money I had and for what type of room I could afford for my accommodation. Then how much extra I would need because realistically, we were not going there to stay in our rooms the whole time. Then how I would SURVIVE after getting back.

When you have a man you can be broke perennially because some way and somehow he is the one that will sort the both of out even when he earns KES 10000. He will figure it out.

Let us not forget when you are single you are not having sex. Your experience a drought. Yes, you can have a one night stand but who wants to deal with those logistics?  STDs, looking for someone who does not look like a criminal or someone that is a ritualist. Someone who will carry your house out after the euphoric bliss. You are sleeping away, while they are SLIPPING away! See what I mean.

When you are in a relationship you just call, text or tell that person you are in the mood and voila! It happens.  The only things you need to worry about are birth control and at times that is not even a concern because you want to Nerea.

Then there is that time of the month. You get free passes and are spoilt senseless because the lady dressed in red is in town. Now just imagine a single girl. No one in your family cares if it is that time of the month. Especially when it is a house full of women. Been there, done that! Life moves on.

They might have a crow stuck in their nether regions but men do really make life simple, fun and uncomplicated. So if you have one, you might be angry because he said a stupid comment, but text him right now and show your love and appreciation. Just from that you may get a surprise in the evening while I go, eat Ugali in a boring house doing the same boring thing. Falling asleep, no sex and waiting for the next morning.

I need a man.

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