He lies so so much
02 July 2015, 17:11
Nairobi - People who best experience relationships are the ones that
are usually on their first try. It is all still new. You believe this person
wholeheartedly with no holds barred. They can tell you what they want. You will
believe them. You are open with each other. You do things without a nagging
thought at the back of your mind that maybe what they are saying is not true.
You do not have baggage from previous relationships in form of insecurity or
dishonesty that will make you doubt this other person. Only they will give you
reason to doubt them.
The rest of us, not
so much. We all have baggage from previous relationships that will always lend
us a grain of salt when any significant other is speaking. They might be honest
but because J* from relationship three was a lying scam artist you will always
have that nagging voice at the back of your mind.
Who does not want to pay attention to that saying,’ once
bitten twice shy…fooled me once, can’t fool me twice!’
Men rarely hold onto baggage from past relationship because
women we have little reason to lie about a job since we hope the man will see
our distressing wage and help top it up. In other words we like presenting a
lesser case because that creates a damsel in distress he needs to rescue. So we
rarely bring are dishonest except when it is the price of some bag.
Men on the other hand are the reason a lot of women carry a
whole load of insecurity and distrust issues into their relationship.
Someone will lie about that job that he does not quite have,
or the pay that he is not making. Living a life that he can barely sustain. Lie
about his where about when she has just spotted him or her patrol has already
relayed his position. Making the whole relationship a lie by lying to two or
more women at the same time. A lot of women have stories that will entertain
you for days and most of the time I do not think it is their fault because
women are trusting beings until that one man messes up. The problem is, if she
experiences it in every relationship.
Is it her fault because they say you attract what you are?
It does not work that way in this case because the best you can always do is
enter every new relationship with a clean slate. If you cannot do that then you
really are not ready to be in any relationship of any sort.
Entering new relationships every time when you are still
vulnerable is the reason you still attract the same kind of people. They can
see those vulnerabilities and play off them until you realize it and rush to
the next ‘best’ thing. The next time you meet a man who is actually good for
you, after the break, you have experienced so many dishonest people that you
have built a system that you are vetting this new guy through. That will not
make him want you. It will make him run the opposite direction.
Going through the phone to see what he is about. Not
trusting that what he is saying is the truth. Second guessing every situation
is how a lot of women ruin a relationship before it even begins. They are still
carrying trust issues from other people from the past. Which can be tricky to
get rid off.
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