He has never said he loves me
05 November 2014, 18:53
Nairobi - I had an interesting conversation with a lady and decided that maybe I should write about it because it just
made for an interesting conversation.
She is angry at her husband.
he did not lavish her with things, buy her clothes, pay fees or take care of
the children but because he never told her he loved her. He is a Kenyan man.
Pushing sixty, brought up really old school because I doubt he ever heard his
father tell his mother the same.
She is in her late forties almost fifties all
those years of marriage and she now wants to be angry because her husband never
told her he loved her.
Her reasoning is that
she never felt loved at home, went to her sisters after completing school-did
some housework- like most women from those eras but still was never appreciated.
So she figured that when she was finally in her own home, her husband would
give and show her all this. Thing is it never happened and she is now
heartbroken. This is why I encourage a
lot of people to be emotionally independent.
Read also: Try something new
Because what she is doing is carrying her childhood baggage
to her matrimonial home. She is expecting the husband to fulfill what was not
done in her childhood. Emotional independence is being able to control your own
sadness, happiness, expectations and wants. Depending on someone else to do it
for you just creates a lot of room for heartbreak not just for you but your own
They created a relationship with
you because they expected that they are building something afresh with someone.
So you go in there with a world of wants and needs but keep wondering why they
are never fulfilled. Does not matter if you told them. It is not someone else’s
responsibility to assure your happiness it is all dependent on the means you
take to assure it yourself. Theirs is just to give it a slight push. Like
seasoning-to give it flavor not to be the key ingredient.
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