He has abused and cheated on you, what next?
23 September 2014, 12:13
Nairobi - At times when someone wrongs you in the worst possible way
it’s hard for you to forgive them especially in a relationship. From a cheating spouse, to the one who tells
lies at every point, you learn not to trust them. The easiest route is usually
to pack up and live but others opt to stay. Thing is you stay and fester in
your anger and dislike or hatred. So what is the point?
Truth is the fact that you are still there means you are
still in the relationship and that is a one way street. In other words you
forgive and move on.
Questions to ask
Is it worth it? Are you ready for another round with the
person who has betrayed you? Is the relationship worth another risk? If it is
not then move on. If you are staying behind for something that your heart was
never in in the first place then you are just wasting each other’s time. Move
distrust and anger
When someone hurts you and you act like it is not a big
deal, you are the bigger fool. Unless you did not really care in the first
place, then hats off to you because you already knew what you are getting
Hiding behind a mask
of I do not care attitude does not give you room to get over it because you are
carrying it with you. In other words acknowledgement allows you to forgive.
Read also: African men are not good lovers
A survivor and not a victim
Looking at yourself
as a victim is just being a pushover. Why do you need to feel self-pity and cry
over already spilt milk? If any of this actually helped change the situation,
then we would not be having this conversation. Seeing yourself as a survivor
will make you come out of it as someone much stronger and who has learnt. Being
the survivor gives you control of your emotions and allows you to choose to be
happy rather than an angry resentful person.
You both need space.
You need to sort out emotions because seeing that person may just spark
resentment every time.
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