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He has abused and cheated on you, what next?

23 September 2014, 12:13 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - At times when someone wrongs you in the worst possible way it’s hard for you to forgive them especially in a relationship.  From a cheating spouse, to the one who tells lies at every point, you learn not to trust them. The easiest route is usually to pack up and live but others opt to stay. Thing is you stay and fester in your anger and dislike or hatred. So what is the point?

Truth is the fact that you are still there means you are still in the relationship and that is a one way street. In other words you forgive and move on.


Questions to ask 

Is it worth it? Are you ready for another round with the person who has betrayed you? Is the relationship worth another risk? If it is not then move on. If you are staying behind for something that your heart was never in in the first place then you are just wasting each other’s time. Move on.


Acknowledge the distrust and anger

When someone hurts you and you act like it is not a big deal, you are the bigger fool. Unless you did not really care in the first place, then hats off to you because you already knew what you are getting yourself into.

Hiding behind a mask of I do not care attitude does not give you room to get over it because you are carrying it with you. In other words acknowledgement allows you to forgive.

Read also: African men are not good lovers

A survivor and not a victim

Looking at yourself as a victim is just being a pushover. Why do you need to feel self-pity and cry over already spilt milk? If any of this actually helped change the situation, then we would not be having this conversation. Seeing yourself as a survivor will make you come out of it as someone much stronger and who has learnt. Being the survivor gives you control of your emotions and allows you to choose to be happy rather than an angry resentful person.



You both need space. You need to sort out emotions because seeing that person may just spark resentment every time.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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