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Have you vetted your man?

18 August 2015, 18:04 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Confusing relationships= Relationships that are not going anywhere. Relationships that have not developed. Relationships with the wrong people (situationship are included here). Relationships that keep getting you hurt.

A lot of women complain about the relationships and the men they are with forgetting that they had a part in the whole process.

You have sex on the first, second date and you complain that he was just using you for your body. Why did you have sex then if that is not what you wanted? Who told you that sex assures you commitment from a man? Who passes up free stuff? No one. Okay, most of us do not. When you go to the supermarket and they are giving out free samples for example a sip of juice, you go there and drink it because you are parched. If they are offering sausages for me to try out, I will eat them because they are sausages and they are free. That is what we do to free wares, we enjoy them because they do not subject us to committing to them. If they are not what I like, I go back to my usual brand. That is what happens when you have sex without being aware. If you know that you are also parched, by all means, get your share. Do not cry foul if you did not vet a man before he tasted your spread and be angry about it. It was your decision to make it easy for him. It was your decision to make it easy for all the other men you have made the same mistake with.

Get proof that a man is worth your time and effort.  It is always there for you to see, you just choose to ignore it. You are paying much more attention to the politician you are never going to meet as compared to the man that you will eventually marry and spend the rest of your life with

Vet this man like you vet your politicians. Does he have your interests at heart or is he just about getting his fair share and moving on? Is he working for you, or is he going to be one of those bad decisions you wish to recant but do the same thing again and again by believing false promises? What he said he will bring to the table, has he brought it or are you still waiting for him to make it happen?

Do not get stuck in a roller-coaster with someone because of your trust issues or any other problems that rise during the time of any relationship. You are not the first to be hurt and you will not be the last. Every women has her own issues she is dealing with. It looks pretty outside but she is the one that knows how to pull it together and save face. You might not be able to handle a day in her office.

Just because one man hurt you does not mean that all of them are wizards. You just have to know what works for you as an individual woman and how you can handle the man that you chose to be in a relationship with. Get those two acts together and you will be off to a good start.

Getting into any situation already hoping that it fails and having a defeatist attitude, nitpicking and generalizing your mate to somebody else is what has made you fail so far. Not that men are evil. Not that the other women are better than you. But just you, your attitude and approach. If you find yourself in a situation with a man, you are the one that allowed it to happen.

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