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Happiness is all in the mind

21 September 2015, 18:51 Anne Muigai

Being able to chill out and be happy is something that many of us are unable to do, for most days. We often if not always depend on other people, our circumstances and other external forces to be happy. It’s common to hear someone lament how their competitor has made their life a hell, how their cheating spouse has turned them into shells or even how their lack of a job has made them hopeless.

I always say that we need to stop outsourcing our happiness from others and our circumstances. We need to stop blaming others and our situations for our unhappiness. If we are to be entirely happy, we need to chill out, amidst our struggles. Being able to have a peace of mind enables us to be happy, regardless of what is happening around us.

But how do we keep our calm and avoid worrying in adverse situations?

Read Also: 8 ways to get that Friday feeling every day

The most essential step to being happy is to steer clear your mind of any negative thoughts. If you often find yourself dwelling on how much you have failed, how much you are suffering and how much other people are hurting you, you are unlikely to have peace of mind and be happy.

I believe that happiness emanates from the mind, how we think and how we choose to respond to situations. I know a friend who will always overreact whenever something happens to her. She spends quite some amount of time complaining, arguing and blaming others.  In the end, she spends the rest of the day or week gloomy. If she sets her mind to be calm and control her happiness, then she could be a happier person.

To be happy, you also need to get a life. If you find yourself sitting around too much and not having enough to do, then it’s very easy to get stuck in negative thought loops and go into a downward spiral. Think about the fun things that you can be doing to make your life more interesting.  Having so much idle time makes us magnify small things to create drama in our lives. If you engage in exciting things, though, you will realize how easy it is to relax and chill out. You will also have no time to dwell on negatives.

Someone said, “Happiness and unhappiness are a state of mind. And therefore, their real causes cannot be found outside the mind”. 

If we have a peaceful state of mind, we will be happy despite the actions of people and our circumstances. If we lack a peaceful state of mind, then we are prone to be agitated by external events. The point here is to find a new perspective and shun negative thoughts. Adapting a positive frame of mind is enough already to help you keep calm and be happy.

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