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Getting a good man is war ladies, be ready to fight

07 July 2015, 13:43 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - No matter how many stones you will throw at me during the course of this I will say this because it is true and it is something that I have come to realize, ‘fair never gets you fair in anything’. In business, in getting money, at work, with your boss, family and in relationships.

You have to play dirty at some point in order to acquire the good stuff. The key rule is no one has to know your business. I always say this but no one ever listens. Take Exhibit A and the best one, that lady (forgotten her name) who got her husband an expensive vehicle for a present and took to social media to praise her due diligence. See what happened! KRA was waiting at the perimeters just to get her on their dues that she had been overlooking for some time. If only she had kept it to herself! But what do I know?

Like I was saying, at times you lie to yourself that if you go through the proper channels of doing everything in life then you will eventually get to where you want to be. I am not against hard work, in fact with just the right amount of patience you will get there. Maybe it is in your 30s, your 40s or even your 60s when you are at that ripe age of not being able to enjoy anything anymore and now everyone is waiting for you to die. At least you left a legacy for those people who do not know what a real life’s hard work is all about. Theirs is just to eat and it is all thanks to you.  That is what fair gets you, you enjoy things in the long term.

The above applies when it is only you and no one else in the race but what about when you are in a competition with a couple of other champions? You obviously have to do something in order for you to get what you want.

Let me tell you something that book, ‘Think like a man, act like a lady’ was onto something but why should we think like men when we are women that want to be treated like women by men. We want men because we appreciate the differences they bring to the table when we are with them. I want to date a man because he should think like a man and appreciate me as a woman. I do not want to think like a man. What should have been a more subtle and apt title as well as book was, ‘Think like a whore, act like a lady!’ (And there goes me ducking the first stone).

Wait listen, why are we always talking about prostitutes, mpango wa kandos, experts telling women how to romp up the bedroom the way whores do and wondering why men have to go out to pay for what they should be getting at home?

 Because these women of the night are always winning. She is getting your children’s school fees, your house rent, going on the vacation that your family should be on, having her household expenses catered for while you struggle to get dinner paid for- all of the above and more that I would never be privy to. You would know because you are the one that is trying to get that man to act right but he still hasn’t. All the above is what playing and being fair gets you. You stand by the fence waiting for your turn (sometime it never comes) because that is what the kindergarten teacher said, your Sunday school teacher said and your friend said, ‘In God’s time!’ Let me tell you something else, God is not a fool and there is one rule I learnt long ago, I am not even sure if I got it from the Bible, ‘God helps those who help themselves.’ Ever since then, when I lie to myself to wait my turn, it probes me into action because whores pray too and we all know God does not judge so their prayers get answered too.

I am not saying you go sleep around with every man trying to prove yourself as the real thing, the lady and the freak. That will get you a record. Or put some things that you should not put in your mouth or other places. It is all about the mindset.

Be a lady, but fight for what you want in life because nothing good ever gets handed down on a silver platter. These women by being in the streets have learnt to be cut throat when it comes to the things they want and they think they deserve.

You just continue to sit at home waiting for the anointing oil to bring you that man that you want to your door step. It does not work like that, you have to get out of your comfort zone and approach someone.

Whores are not loyal. In fact, their phone book has a list of men that are options. Ladies need to learn how to have options. That way, you will never be desperate for one man’s attentions. If he plays, you cut that man off. He needs to understand that you are not one of his pieces on that board. Put him on a check mate type of situation. He should never get your queen! The rule is: use your pawns always.

If you want that man to behave then you have to set the ground rules from the first day. That is how you take out the weeds. The one that will scoff, let him go honey because you do not want to deal with that later on because you are feeling desperate. A man needs to respect your rules. Do not give him second and third chances for him to keep feeding you excuses. He is the one that will never find time for you, send you a please call me because they went out and they are in the middle of Chalbi desert where there is no credit. Why could he not buy credit first then alcohol? He is the one that will never mind to take care of you when you are pregnant for him (not the one that you use tricks though). He is the one that will never care, period!  The one that is at least willing to listen, and compromise with you on some things, you are off to a better start. Set the rules. Like in the strip club, you are not allowed to touch those women unless she allows you to. Rules, plain and simple.

Whores do not use pregnancies to get men. Whores are very protective of their bodies because how will she get on that pole and earn some more money with a six month warning in front of her? How will she run in the streets in high heels and a belly? No one wants to see that. That is how they get quality men. Quality men can spot a struggle from a mile away. Quality men like knowing that you have yourself in order and are not bringing your disorder in their life. Now, you are over here trying to trick some man into a relationship and being responsible by getting pregnant. Did it the first time, now baby daddy over here, still not responsible, is being a clown and ruining all your chances with the really good men.

I could go on, but my editor does not like long stories, so… I hope you got the gist. To get the good, quality men know how to handle yourself and let the men that come to your life learn to respect you early on. But most of all, think like a whore’s strategic mind; be a fighter, stop waiting just get up there and upstage everybody else. Protect your body, have the best moves on that chess board because you have all these other women in the race with you.  If all else fails, fake it until you make it!

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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