First time sex is like a job interview
02 December 2014, 23:00
Nairobi - Is sex after the first few dates like a job interview? Yes
it is? So how do I put this in order for the whole statement to make sense?
When going for the job interview, you prepare for days for it. You study about
the company, what they do, how their CSR is, how many clients they have and the
market segment that they do have. What you want to do is to impress and not
fail because you are in that interview since you really want that job. Same
case applies to the man you are out with. For us women, we just do not give you
the time of day just to waste our time or because we had nothing better to do.
We always have something to do and if we do not, we surely will not just out of
the blue decide to while away our time with a man we do not see in our future.
There has to be a reason I am spending that time with you.
So if I am with you
it is because I really want you and I am hoping that it will work out. Like a
job interview, I will spend my time learning everything about you the likes and
dislikes, hobbies, sports-that is if you do not spend all your weekends at the
local bar. I will want to impress and hope that if I am on the second date then
we really are heading somewhere. True test though comes at that point when the
both of you decide to take in on the next level where intimacy is involved.
Be bad at it and you are never going to see the man again,
be too good at it, and what you are thinking is that there must have been
countless men in my lifetime for me to be that good. So what should the lady
do? Be the freak or the Victorian virgin. Look at it all ways and there is
still that man that I am not going to be able to win with. Because truth be
told, the fact is that for the men, sex is usually a deciding factor when it
comes to committing to the woman they hope to have a long time relationship
The current Kenyan society will even applaud that woman who
is still a virgin, but at the end of the day, you will rarely find that man,
who is willing to wait until marriage. What if he buys the trousers and they do
not fit, he will ask himself. So sex has become another tool for the men to
judge the women they are going into a relationship with. He does not want the
one that at the back of the head he will always ask himself if she had been
with the whole neighborhood and he also wants the one that has been only with
him or would like to think he has taught and no one else can make the same
Which leaves us women with a bit of a puzzle. I will put it
down to this, if you are with a man, then I think he wants to date a woman and
not a girl. If he despises you for self-expression and openness with him then
you are with the wrong person either way, you might have stuck it out but a few
months, weeks down the road you still would have lost because he was never
ready for you as a man should be. Do not overthink it, just go in it as you
would an interview, impress the whole panel of senses, if he dumps you because
you seemed to experience then the loss is definitely his and not yours.
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