Don't hurt me mommy
06 May 2015, 08:25
Nairobi - We should talk about the women who ruin the child’s
relationship with the father because they do not get along. It is not that
Relationships that end, rarely end amicably with people
shaking hands and promising to be friends thereafter. Most of the time, they
actually end with someone throwing something or the said person out of the
house. Insults are hurled and dead relatives resurrected to provide the right
kind of sting.
We talk about the two people that are no longer together but
what about the child that they had. They are the one’s people never actually
get over. I normally recommend that if you have to play around with someone try
play with one that in case you had a mishap and a child came out of it, you
could still stand them. There is nothing worse than a child not having the
proper relationship with a parent because someone still has hard feelings.
It actually happens though, people break up. Custody is
given or at times the mother is the one that gets to walk away with the child
but she does not behave. How do I mean? She messes it up for the father and the
child or children. There is that woman
that bad mouths the father to the child. Why do you have to tell the child
about the women you saw him with, what he does with them. At the time it is
anger. Other times it is not anger but you being savage.
You know the father likes the child and you know that the
surest way of getting back to him is turning the child from the father. So you
malign the man to the child or children.
There is that mother, who seeks counselling from her five
year old child. Telling the child how the break up happened and what was key to
the disintegration of what was-shoulda, woulda, coulda. There is a fine line
between making a child aware and you actually being vengeful.
You can explain things to the child but you cannot tell the
child things that are only fit for adult ears.
Not allowing the child to use the phone to talk to her
father is brewing something that will wreak havoc to the child as they grow up.
You might not realize it but the child ends up thinking that it is the father
that does not want to be with them. Be a part of their lives. In the end your
child feels unwanted. No matter how much love you think you are giving as one.
A child knows there should be two, and if the y are not dead the turnabout is
on them and they start asking themselves questions that you never hear about.
Hiding the father’s gifts or giving them away because you
want them to think they are forgotten. These are the kind of strategies that
some devious women rely on to make the father of the child unseemly.
It is his or her birthday, so to seem like the favorite
parent, you go out of your way to make it look like the father is the one that
forgot when in real sense you are the one that is being a clown.
No matter how hurt you are as a woman, never bring your
children into the mix-up. If the father has a good relationship with the child
let it be. If they want to talk on the phone, give them the phone if you do not
approve of them owning one. It is just that simple. You need to take yourself
out of the equation, your feelings or needs and place theirs first.It is that
simple really. It will make you angry. Resentful maybe even make you create
vengeful scenarios in your head but you will have a normal child at the end of
It is a different story when it is the father who is
actually not interested.
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