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Does your man know your worth?

02 February 2015, 14:14 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I like the new year because you get to hear people go on and on about how they are going to make a change in certain parts of their lives. Be a better them, look for better jobs, start a business, learn to save, make better investments, look for better partners who treat them as per the worth they are; so on and so forth, the list is endless but it never gets old. It’s the second month of the year and I am sure what you were not able to start doing in January you will try in February, or you will keep trying until it is the end of the year and it is January again.

Going back to better partners who treat you for what you think you are worth rather than what they feel like is easier said than done for most women. You really can get that type of treatment that you want is just that after most women get that man, they now get back to being all about the man rather than themselves. The man loses respect for her faster than she can say the word single again.

I have a friend and she is quickly becoming that one that you no longer want to get together with because the conversations are starting to get a tad bit annoying. Let us call her X, she started seeing this man, late last year in September, slept with him after the second date I think, then started complaining how he has never treated her right from the moment they started dating. Already, she messed up, because she never even let the man get to know her before she dropped the panties. Later in the year, they still have never gone on a date aside from the one that he takes her to his local and the get together with the crowd of friends.

Come this year and she is feeling some type of way wanting him to spend more time with her, take her for camping, lunches during office hours and dinners too, swimming and so on , thing is she wants alone time with him that she is not getting. This weekend I was with her and she kept calling the guy while he was away on a business trip in Nakuru (not sure if even that was legit as he might be dodging her), eventually he switched his phone off. She then starts texting on WhatsApp wondering why he is not getting back to her. She then reverts to texting her friend who is the girlfriend to the man’s housemate to check on the man’s whereabouts. Already, you as the reader as starting to get the drift, he is treating this girl worse than the pet he would have if he ever had one, yet she is his said girlfriend and he has told her how he loves her. A side note for us women: A man will always tell you what you want to hear as long as he gets what he wants. Never forget that.  If you let him string you along it is your fault and never is, because you need to know your worth so that you do not depend on a man’s words just to make you feel better.

Back to my story, as the evening progresses, it has now become a cat and mouse game because as he is texting her that he does not feel like going out and just wants to sleep, she is getting texts from the friend telling her how he has told them to meet him at a rave joint. Even after, she still keeps on texting with the man. As the single friend, you know there are just some things you can say and others you just keep to yourself because you do not want to be the one that gave bad advice. So I kept a torrent of wise womanly advice who writes on relationships to myself because the minute I said stop chasing the man, I got an ugly look.The reason I thought to write about this, even though I could not get through to my friend I am sure there are many women out here doing the same thing. Chasing the man and losing their worth as the relationship progresses. Never lose sight of what you expect and want from the man that you want to be with. If it’s not working get off the bus and start walking, you will get tired but you will eventually reach where you are going.

What my friend failed to realize was that as she was losing her self-worth going after and trying to impress the man, he was also losing his idea of her worth too. Now he has moved on and is trying to make her let go of him, she is yet to realize that he does not care whether she is being told a different story by the friend’s girlfriend and he is just hoping she sees the signs.

After all the hints I gave her this past weekend and she chooses to stick it out, then love can really make someone blind as well as deaf.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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