Does your man know your worth?
02 February 2015, 14:14
Nairobi - I like the new year because you get to hear people go on and
on about how they are going to make a change in certain parts of their lives.
Be a better them, look for better jobs, start a business, learn to save, make
better investments, look for better partners who treat them as per the worth
they are; so on and so forth, the list is endless but it never gets old. It’s
the second month of the year and I am sure what you were not able to start
doing in January you will try in February, or you will keep trying until it is
the end of the year and it is January again.
Going back to better partners who treat you for what you
think you are worth rather than what they feel like is easier said than done
for most women. You really can get that type of treatment that you want is just
that after most women get that man, they now get back to being all about the
man rather than themselves. The man loses respect for her faster than she can say
the word single again.
I have a friend and she is quickly becoming that one that
you no longer want to get together with because the conversations are starting
to get a tad bit annoying. Let us call her X, she started seeing this man, late
last year in September, slept with him after the second date I think, then
started complaining how he has never treated her right from the moment they
started dating. Already, she messed up, because she never even let the man get
to know her before she dropped the panties. Later in the year, they still have
never gone on a date aside from the one that he takes her to his local and the
get together with the crowd of friends.
Come this year and she is feeling some type of way wanting
him to spend more time with her, take her for camping, lunches during office
hours and dinners too, swimming and so on , thing is she wants
alone time with him that she is not getting. This weekend I was with her and
she kept calling the guy while he was away on a business trip in Nakuru (not
sure if even that was legit as he might be dodging her), eventually he switched
his phone off. She then starts texting on WhatsApp wondering why he is not
getting back to her. She then reverts to texting her friend who is the
girlfriend to the man’s housemate to check on the man’s whereabouts. Already, you as the reader as starting to get
the drift, he is treating this girl worse than the pet he would have if he ever
had one, yet she is his said girlfriend and he has told her how he loves her. A
side note for us women: A man will always tell you what you want to hear as
long as he gets what he wants. Never forget that. If you let him string you along it is your
fault and never is, because you need to know your worth so that you do not depend
on a man’s words just to make you feel better.
Back to my story, as the evening progresses, it has now
become a cat and mouse game because as he is texting her that he does not feel
like going out and just wants to sleep, she is getting texts from the friend
telling her how he has told them to meet him at a rave joint. Even after, she
still keeps on texting with the man. As the single friend, you know there are
just some things you can say and others you just keep to yourself because you
do not want to be the one that gave bad advice. So I kept a torrent of wise
womanly advice who writes on relationships to myself because the minute I said
stop chasing the man, I got an ugly look.The reason I thought to write about this, even though I
could not get through to my friend I am sure there are many women out here
doing the same thing. Chasing the man and losing their worth as the
relationship progresses. Never lose sight of what you expect and want from the
man that you want to be with. If it’s not working get off the bus and start
walking, you will get tired but you will eventually reach where you are going.
What my friend failed to realize was that as she was losing
her self-worth going after and trying to impress the man, he was also losing
his idea of her worth too. Now he has moved on and is trying to make her let go
of him, she is yet to realize that he does not care whether she is being told a
different story by the friend’s girlfriend and he is just hoping she sees the
After all the hints I gave her this past weekend and she
chooses to stick it out, then love can really make someone blind as well as
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