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Does role-playing improve sex?

30 October 2014, 12:48 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - In a bid to improve their sex lives a couple may agree to do a bit of role playing (Imagining having sex with some fantasy like Beyonce or Brad Pitt). It may be good but it may also signal a bad turn in a relationship. A few things to look out for when figuring out if the role-playing in your relationship is just not working.

If only one of you come up with the idea

If only one of you keeps pushing the other partner for it; then it is not good. It should be something both people agree on. Both partners should want to participate. Coercing the other only looks like you are bored with them.

When it is only one character

Role playing is not about just having one individual or character in one’s head. If your partner insists on you playing only this one person then alarm bells should start ringing in your head.  Because what it says is that they just want them and not you. So you just represent what they cannot have. Good role-playing involves a lot of inter-changing.

Read also: Sexual satisfaction to die for

It should not be something that defines your sex lives

A little even a lot of experimenting is good but when you choose this as a focus it only leads to a downward spiral in your relationship. If you have to keep doing it every time you are intimate with each other, maybe what you need to worry about is that you really do not want to be intimate with each other.

Sometimes it is just not about role-playing

Maybe it’s just that your partner wants you to act differently during sex but they do not know how to communicate this. Role playing might just be an effort in trying to communicate something else that they want from you. Especially if they come up with a certain character. Tread carefully though as it might sound offensive when you are on the receiving end.

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