Do you do too much for your man?
11 August 2015, 18:35
Nairobi - There are two sides of looking at this. There is the good
side of being a supportive woman for your man and then there is the negative
side of being a man’s support system. Let me explain because there actually is
a negative and you will be able to tell which side you reside on.
The good side is what we all aim for and look for when we
get into a relationship with someone. We also hope to get the same. I would
also like to think that I would be supportive of my husband or boyfriend
because why else would I be with him if I am trying to be the opposite-
The supportive woman is the one that is looking out for her
man. She supports his ambitions, she supports his goals, and she supports his
dreams! When everybody else is beating that man down and not understanding him,
he knows that he can count on you at the end of the day to see it through his
eyes. He knows that even if he fails, and loses sight of what he wanted from
the beginning, you will be there to remind him of it. You will not run out at
the first sight of trouble and you when trouble comes crashing in you will help
come up with solutions. That is what all women in love and who actually like
and love their men do. We support.
The negative side of being supportive depends on the type of
man you are with though.
There is the man that sees this, appreciates you for it and
sticks with you 100%. When the trees bear fruit, he will remember to enjoy them
with you because you are one of the few people who count in his success story.
Then there is the other men whom we all end up hearing
about. The ones who break a lot of women’s hearts. The one whom, as soon as he
makes it, you are no longer in his league. These are men who have used you as a
Are you his support system?
If your man comes to you only when trouble comes knocking,
but when the good stuff is around he is nowhere in sight, then you are his
support system. Let me put it this way, some men when they make it, they look
for that women who swore up and down he is not in their league and if not her,
someone he sees as higher up. That is how it works.
When he is down, when he is broken down. No money. No
business. No opportunities. Nothing! She is that women who will not deal with
him, so whom does he run to? The one who has always loved him and would never
judge him but takes him back as she picks up his pieces. That is his support
system. She makes him feel good when everything else does not make sense.
Rejuvenates him and pumps up his self-esteem and ego. Sort of like a spa clinic
in Westlands or a vacation in some exotic place.
He stands back up and
now he goes back in with more energy and determination. He now has focus and
works twice as hard because she was there to put the pieces back together.
Maybe she had that title, maybe she did not but women we are stupid at times
when it comes to the men we deal with. He keeps you around, you are not his
girlfriend but you do all that girlfriend stuff for him. Or on the other hand,
you are his girlfriend, but you commit to not following up with this guy who
brings you to a standstill. You do not move on because he has built that
illusion that he loves you even if ten years on, he has not committed to you.
You continue hoping that he sees and because he told you, ‘babe,
wait until I make it!’ You wait and wait and wait. After the first wait, he had
already made it but now you do not see him and soon enough you hear that he is
with another woman. That is how you know you were a support system.
Know the difference.
Being a supportive woman to man who is 100% there with you
and for you, is the best thing you will ever have in any relationship. It is an
Being a support system, is what kills women. Do
not be that for a man who clearly has one leg stepping out and the other in. Do
that for a man who has both legs in. I would hope you are wise enough to know
what type your man is. That is why relationships are for adults and mature people.
For the wise. If you are not any of that, then hold off until you are. You will
save yourself from a lot of disaster.
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