Dating does not have to end up in marriage
13 July 2015, 20:00
Nairobi - I firmly believe that if I am not interested in you, then
why should I waste both of pour times by stringing you along? Which is true.
Why waste any person’s time if you already know that you are not headed
anywhere with them?
On the other hand, you are here, and you have nothing
serious going on. You may be old, you may be you but what you are sure of is
that you want nothing serious. Most of us look at it this way; when you are an
adult and you are dating, then what we are looking forward to is for the wedding
bells. We have described all forms of male and female companionship as
something that should end up in something serious. When in most cases it should
Part of the reason most long term relationships and
marriages are not turning out so well currently is because majority of the
couples in that relationship never got the chance to explore themselves with
other people other than with the partner they are currently with. You just
chose one person, started seeing each other for a while and just decided they
suited you at that time and that is all the confirmation you needed.
One thing that adults can actually learn from young people
dating, is that they never take it seriously. You see each other for one month,
it does not work out, and you wait for the next one. By the time you get out of
this stage, you know what you want as an individual. You do not settle with the
wrong partner, this is where people talk about the soul mate, it is not. And
you do not place your expectations on them.
I was talking to a friend of mine the recently and told her
about one of my longest relationships- a couple of years. She asked why I would
walk out of something that had gone on for those many years and not wish for
marriage-like I had wasted myself. I was lucky not to be edging towards my
grave at least but I was not too shocked that that was how she felt. In our
minds we cannot just enjoy having met someone, known them for a while and ended
it without wishing that it had been something more.
You are on a date and we are already thinking of the
children that we will have and if they will make a good husband. You ruin the
process even before it begins. Just because you are seeing someone at the
moment does not mean that they are the ones that you should spend the rest of
your life with. Getting to know someone and realizing that they were never the
right fit for you saves you a lot of grief that comes with feeling dissatisfied
in a relationship. Wishing that you had taken your time and not rushed into it.
Or wondering why you had never found the right person for you.
At times when you are dating someone or in a relationship
with someone, that does not mean that you have to marry them.
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