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Congratulations to single people

12 August 2015, 19:16 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - That title gives you the answer right off the bat, but it’s meant to be an article so let me add something short.

Do you know why single people are always applauded? Not the ones who are single for two weeks or one month then they are back in the game. Or the ones who ‘take a break’ from their partner to jump right back in.

We are talking about the ones who have served time in that zone. They might have been in a relationship but it did not last, or they have never been in anything meaningful.

What they have learnt is how to be by themselves and that is one thing that most people do not know. It is not about them being lonely, alone or without anyone. It is the fact that they are comfortable with being by themselves. Maybe they will get to a point where they will be in a rush or they are chasing after some light skirts but they are still single.

That is where self-awareness comes from. You get to know who you are. Are you a judgmental person? That way, when they get into a relationship, they know how to shield their partner from that part of themselves. If they are hypercritical, they will know how to screen their partner from it. If they are defensive, they know it and know how not to bring that into a relationship for another person to deal with it.

Not many people have actually ever been single and not many people have ever taken time to evaluate themselves on that level. It is so hard to be critical on yourself when you should be your own cheerleader and that is how people bring their issues to a relationship. That is also how some relationships do not work or you get two people that do not understand why they are not working.

When you cannot allow a little bit of self-judgment, know how to deal with your cons where other people are concerned then how do you expect to work? Because you actually do not know what you want. Even if you know what you want, there will be that barrier that will keep cropping up until you fix it.

You end up being bitter, after spending all these years with someone because you realize you were spending it on them and not on you. You realize that, your life revolved around them because you built yourself around them.

So yes, to all those single persons out there. I applaud you.

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