Choices indeed have consequences
28 July 2015, 13:32
Choices do have consequences. Here's why I think so.
The problem with today’s relationships is that people go
into them having created false expectations because they do not want to hurt somebody’s
A man or a woman comes and tells you they are interested in
you, but they are still seeing other people as well. A person who knows that
they do not want to waste time with a person who is not sure of them, will cut
short their losses and move on. Some of us do not like racing. Its abhorrent
business when you have 100 other people in a marathon and chances are you have
not been winning medals. The stakes are usually on recurrent winners. When you
look at it like that you just go where the competitors are less or there is no
race at all and you grab.
But that is not what majority of the single people who want
to be in a relationship so badly do.
You need to give credit where credit is due. As a woman, a
man comes to me and tells me, ‘I like you but I still want to see other
people!’ My first reaction will be disgust and I would reply, ‘so what do you
want me to do with that? Wait for you?’ After I settle my ruffles down I will
appreciate the fact that this guy was at least honest and upfront with me. He
gave me the opportunity to make a choice where others would not have. I will
decide whether I also do not have the time to be serious and dally with him or
I will choose to walk away because I want to be in something that has a chance.
Not constantly worrying if he is not with me he is with someone else.
Most guys will keep quiet and roast ten maize cobs on their
grill and then he will look for the one that turns out the best. Eat that and
to hell with whatever happens with the rest.
On that note, I want to appreciate those that we call
‘womanizers’ and ‘players’. Yes, it is a label but labels have a purpose. They
warn you before you use that product. This guy is giving you no false
expectations where he is concerned. So, when you are eventually hurt, do not
cry foul and say, ‘but he was different with me’. Everyone is always different with someone
If you choose to set yourself up with a woman who was
upfront with you, you have no one, even her to blame but yourself.
If you choose to set yourself up with a man that never lied
to you from the beginning, you do not need to curse him but curse your lack of
proper decision making.
If you would just accept what someone tells you from the
beginning of the relationship, then you would save yourself a lot of grief. It
is better for them to try change your mind after you have reconciled with what
they have said rather than you trying to change their mind the whole way
through the relationship.
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