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Choices indeed have consequences

28 July 2015, 13:32 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Choices do have consequences. Here's why I think so.

The problem with today’s relationships is that people go into them having created false expectations because they do not want to hurt somebody’s feelings.

A man or a woman comes and tells you they are interested in you, but they are still seeing other people as well. A person who knows that they do not want to waste time with a person who is not sure of them, will cut short their losses and move on. Some of us do not like racing. Its abhorrent business when you have 100 other people in a marathon and chances are you have not been winning medals. The stakes are usually on recurrent winners. When you look at it like that you just go where the competitors are less or there is no race at all and you grab.

But that is not what majority of the single people who want to be in a relationship so badly do.

You need to give credit where credit is due. As a woman, a man comes to me and tells me, ‘I like you but I still want to see other people!’ My first reaction will be disgust and I would reply, ‘so what do you want me to do with that? Wait for you?’ After I settle my ruffles down I will appreciate the fact that this guy was at least honest and upfront with me. He gave me the opportunity to make a choice where others would not have. I will decide whether I also do not have the time to be serious and dally with him or I will choose to walk away because I want to be in something that has a chance. Not constantly worrying if he is not with me he is with someone else.

Most guys will keep quiet and roast ten maize cobs on their grill and then he will look for the one that turns out the best. Eat that and to hell with whatever happens with the rest.

On that note, I want to appreciate those that we call ‘womanizers’ and ‘players’. Yes, it is a label but labels have a purpose. They warn you before you use that product. This guy is giving you no false expectations where he is concerned. So, when you are eventually hurt, do not cry foul and say, ‘but he was different with me’.  Everyone is always different with someone else.

If you choose to set yourself up with a woman who was upfront with you, you have no one, even her to blame but yourself. 

If you choose to set yourself up with a man that never lied to you from the beginning, you do not need to curse him but curse your lack of proper decision making.

If you would just accept what someone tells you from the beginning of the relationship, then you would save yourself a lot of grief. It is better for them to try change your mind after you have reconciled with what they have said rather than you trying to change their mind the whole way through the relationship.

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Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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