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Blame rape victims?

24 March 2015, 15:41 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - This may be a very touchy subject; but just like a lot of other people who are not tweeting their thoughts, I am going to ask; why would you be meeting a man at the dead of the night for a meeting?

We are not condoning rape or the rape allegations but a lot of you are quick to shame someone for a logical question so that you do not seem like the black sheep in the white flock.


This is from a woman’s perspective too, so that you do not look at it as a man’s point of you.

Let us look at the facts that have been brought before us, she was raped but instead of rushing to the hospital, she rushed home. In my head I am thinking, even if I wanted my husband to be in the loop the best strategy would have been for me to present the facts to him while I am being checked in the hospital. That has more standing than word of mouth.

The way I as an outsider would look at it is that maybe someone got caught while outside by the husband and the first instinct was to cry wolf rather than create a messy situation for themselves.


If I am having a meeting at the dead of the night, it would be in an office and also it would be somewhere that fellow colleagues would be aware of. Agreeing to meet someone at the dead of the night, a male someone on that note, in their home, alone….  See where this is going? It spells a lot of consensual.


As a woman, if I am going for a meeting at someone’s home, let’s say I am married. Either the husband is made aware of it or he can come along and sit down with a bottle of Tusker while I take care of business. When I am done he drives us back home.

If I am not married, more than three friends will know my where abouts in case of anything. If possible one or two will come along and they will have a slumber party while I am working.


If my boss suddenly got a work emergency at the dead of the night, there is a reason technology exists. We can video chat, we can WhatsApp; there is an icon that enables you to send voice messages. If none of them do not have these tools available to them, a voice call can suffice while giving instructions over the phone. No one needs to be in someone’s home or leave theirs for that matter.


The way I am looking at this story, some women are never legit. Some might be legit but not all are. Some husbands can also not be legit. For a payday, people in Kenya can do anything. The woman sends a text at 10:30pm and the husband came at 1:30 to take her to hospital. Or she drove herself three hours later. Three hours! If some tools are at our disposal, we can use them for a lot of things, blackmail, leverage, you name it. If the men are made scapegoats. For example the way this story is going, there will a lot of non-consequential cases coming up with women making up stories just to get away from some things or have their way.

I also know for a fact, if a lady friend of mine got herself in that type of situation and the husband was not meant to know but he did; she will never admit that it was anything other than work that suddenly turned ugly. You would rather blame someone else rather than shoulder the blame.

At the end of the day, only the lab tests will have a story to tell. But a caution to the ladies; meetings should be conducted at office hours, anything beyond that then you should be ready to take precautions. Not because you are a female, but because you can never trust these men.

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- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

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