Blame rape victims?
24 March 2015, 15:41
Nairobi - This may be a very touchy subject; but just like a lot of
other people who are not tweeting their thoughts, I am going to ask; why would
you be meeting a man at the dead of the night for a meeting?
We are not condoning rape or the rape allegations but a lot
of you are quick to shame someone for a logical question so that you do not
seem like the black sheep in the white flock.
This is from a woman’s perspective too, so that you do not
look at it as a man’s point of you.
Let us look at the facts that have been brought before us,
she was raped but instead of rushing to the hospital, she rushed home. In my
head I am thinking, even if I wanted my husband to be in the loop the best
strategy would have been for me to present the facts to him while I am being
checked in the hospital. That has more standing than word of mouth.
The way I as an
outsider would look at it is that maybe someone got caught while outside by the
husband and the first instinct was to cry wolf rather than create a messy
situation for themselves.
If I am having a meeting at the dead of the night, it would
be in an office and also it would be somewhere that fellow colleagues would be
aware of. Agreeing to meet someone at the dead of the night, a male someone on
that note, in their home, alone…. See
where this is going? It spells a lot of consensual.
As a woman, if I am going for a meeting at someone’s home,
let’s say I am married. Either the husband is made aware of it or he can come
along and sit down with a bottle of Tusker while I take care of business. When
I am done he drives us back home.
If I am not married, more than three friends will know my
where abouts in case of anything. If possible one or two will come along and
they will have a slumber party while I am working.
If my boss suddenly got a work emergency at the dead of the
night, there is a reason technology exists. We can video chat, we can WhatsApp;
there is an icon that enables you to send voice messages. If none of them do
not have these tools available to them, a voice call can suffice while giving
instructions over the phone. No one needs to be in someone’s home or leave
theirs for that matter.
The way I am looking at this story, some women are never
legit. Some might be legit but not all are. Some husbands can also not be
legit. For a payday, people in Kenya can do anything. The woman sends a text at
10:30pm and the husband came at 1:30 to take her to hospital. Or she drove
herself three hours later. Three hours! If some tools are at our disposal, we
can use them for a lot of things, blackmail, leverage, you name it. If the men
are made scapegoats. For example the way this story is going, there will a lot
of non-consequential cases coming up with women making up stories just to get
away from some things or have their way.
I also know for a fact, if a lady friend of mine got herself
in that type of situation and the husband was not meant to know but he did; she
will never admit that it was anything other than work that suddenly turned
ugly. You would rather blame someone else rather than shoulder the blame.
At the end of the day, only the lab tests will have a story
to tell. But a caution to the ladies; meetings should be conducted at office
hours, anything beyond that then you should be ready to take precautions. Not
because you are a female, but because you can never trust these men.
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