Are you loyal?
26 March 2015, 18:30
Nairobi - I am not talking about loyalty in terms of cheating but loyalty in terms of trust. Some of the people I know, I have learnt that I cannot trust them with anything because they carry it to other people-me included.
Relationships are a lot like sacred grounds for a lot of people. The offerings that are taken in there should not be taken out either to other people. As women, when we are talking to the men in our lives, the furthest worry we have in our minds is whom he is going to carry the tale to. Whether it is about a colleague that you do not like, what your sister did that you do not approve of, your financial struggles or that new business venture you are considering. It is tough to picture your man with his fellow friends, burping over beer while he recounts what you told him. On the other hand, when it comes to you, you wonder why the man does not open up like you do. Yet you are setting your best foot forward.
As a rule of thumb for a lot of men, it is never to have some conversations with their woman. The simple fact is that she will most certainly carry the tale. Whether in a fit of anger, or because she needs to talk to someone and confide in them or maybe just because they ran out of things to talk about with her girlfriends.
If he is having a hard time at work, unless that man really trusts that you can keep your mouth shut, he will not lean on that shoulder. He will not come and cry about his latest woes at work because he knows you will go tell Janice, then Janice will tell her boyfriend because she is a chatter box. Soon enough, he starts getting weird looks from Janice’s boyfriend who thinks he is not man enough.
Far be it for him to come and tell you about the latest investment opportunity he has in the works. You will go and brag to your female groupie about how much money he is about to make. They will in turn go and ask their men why they are not as hardworking as he is. What was under wraps soon becomes fodder for thirsty entrepreneur wannabes who want in on what he has. That is how you mess up a good business opportunity.
If he is having a family crisis and he wants your personal take on it, you give it. Then you add that you will ask so and so for their perspective. In cool alarm, he says there is no need as he will figure it out. You disagree that it is really important but keep quiet. The following day, you do ask so and so; who then calls him to give their personal take. What was a personal thing has become something that everyone now wants to give their two cents. In the long run he just pinches himself and sets a caution board between you and what is happening in his life. That is how you shut down communication in a relationship.
Let us not even get into tattling about your sex life, you know you do it. So are you loyal?
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