Are you in love, or just 'attached' to your partner?
04 November 2015, 10:40
Love has become an interesting part of our lives; in fact, it’s almost become a necessity. Our lives begin to get more interesting when we allow love to flow in us and to other people around us. Sometimes we find ourselves lost in the moment and falling deeper that we could ever imagine.
In relationships, you could either be in love or become attached to someone. Although attachment may feel like love, it marks the beginning of a long terrible relationship. How then can you differentiate between love and attachment?
One of the obvious pointer that you are attached and not in love is if you’re unhappy in your relationship and feel that you can’t possibly leave for one reason or another.
A relationship is meant to keep you happy and not the other way round. If you are sticking around waiting for your partner to change and make you happier, chances are high you are attached.
Read Also: 'I never want to see him again'
Are you capable of having your own life outside of your relationship? If you’re unable to do anything without your partner you may be drowning yourself in them. Instead of finding your own happiness, you reach for it through your partner. Even though your partner can love and support you, it’s another thing when you lose yourself in them.
If you obsess over where your partner is, what they are doing and who they are talking to even when there is no outward reason to doubt them, you are probably attached and not in love. Being attached often makes you feel uneasy about the others intentions and makes you question their every move. Often, you will try to control your partner.
Often, attached partners are almost always negative. They always find a fault in the other party. Instead of allowing each other to grow, you try to hold each other too closely.
For my brothers and sisters who just realized that they lack these vices and are in love, beware of your love becoming an attachment. The two are very closely related with two completely opposing outcomes.
Experts say that separating love from attachment is a conscience effort. It’s something you have to work for. To love someone, you must be selfless and love them for who they are, not what they can do for you.
I say, love yourself first. Loving yourself before you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is the easiest way to ensure that you'll be committing yourself to that person for the right reasons.
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