Are you better than your ex?
18 June 2015, 17:14
Nairobi - Theirs is a common phrase that some people use that goes
along the lines of,’ if you are to cheat on me with someone else, they had
better be better/ an upgrade from me!’ I am not the one that said it but some people came up with it.
Which makes a lot of sense why cheat on your partner, with
someone who is not as good looking, as smart, as tall, or even makes more
money! It just never makes sense but cheaters do not and that is why that advice
is rarely if ever followed.
On the other hand when we apply it to relationship where
does it stand? Or just anything. For example your career. A lot can be said for
someone who leaves a well-paying job for a hobby but we know anything done with
passion eventually takes root. But what about someone who leaves a really good
career for meaningless reasons. I would never leave a job because colleagues
are giving me a hard time. Let me explain why, a whole office cannot just gang
up to be against you unless you are
the problem. If it is one or two people; that is how you learn management. You manage to clear off their path unless
out of necessity. Necessity rarely arises unless you are partnered then that is
when you ask for a different partner. The way I see it, it can never get a
perfect work environment; it will either be a bad boss, bad colleagues or poor
working conditions. So you roll with it because the money is good, otherwise,
you are allowed to leave if you are not making good money nor moving.
Relationships do eventually break especially if they were
never going anywhere. Either you left the other person or they choose to leave
you. Either case: you want to prove that you can do better than them especially
if you realize that their latest catch is better than you. In everything!
Career wise, intelligence and smart, good looking- they are just the whole
package. A man will really not care may even be in bliss. For the moment!
Women on the other hand we like being the best of the last.
Does not matter if you are the sloppiest, least attractive of your bunch of
friends but you still want to feel like your ex-man could never do better than
you. So when we look for the next partner, the stakes are abit higher because
we hope that our standards have improved from the sleazy ones that we used to have that made us end up with the other
sleazy bastard! That is why no matter
who lands up in our doorsteps, we are going to look not for the perfect man but
someone better than our last. It can be sort of frustrating for the new catch
because they do not realize that at the back of your mind you are wondering if
you did better or worse.
By all means, he should just be better. If one factor is
less attractive, he better have redeeming ones in his back up otherwise you are
not looking to make the same mistakes that you hope you have outgrown of.And it
is not just the women but the men too. The main key is to find someone that
proves she is more ‘wife’ material than the other hag that left you or you
left! For men, her money is never too much of an issue but if she is
intelligent, has her own hustle and grind
and is not needy; she is good. The icing on the cake is when she looks, feel
and smells good. That is when he knows that she has just beat the ex. She is
perfect. Will not matter if his friends okay her, his colleagues or if the
ex-girlfriend does not think much of her. At the end of the day he just knows
and that is when you will see a man actually fight and defend his woman!
Women on the other hand are the ones that will need outside
approval, especially from the friends and sisters and the mother. If they do
not okay him, she might put up a feeble front but she will never be secure in
that relationship and will always look for the better one. If she can do
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