Are they killing your relationship?
24 April 2015, 17:05
Nairobi - Being comfortable in a relationship is the reason some people end up misbehaving in the relationship in the long run. They know you are going to give them that pass, so they are not afraid of crossing the lines you drew in that honeymoon stage of the relationship.
What do I mean by someone being comfortable? I am talking about comfort where you walk on coals around them so that you do not start any squabbles. Fighting, or you correcting them.
When you keep some things to yourself because you do not want to destabilize the relationship, cause pain anger or hurt.
Using kid gloves is okay, in the start of your relationship, in the honey moon stage. But for a real relationship to work, it reaches a point where in order for it to survive you need to be ion the same page with your partner.
If you know your boyfriend is cheating, you are afraid of losing him, so you keep it to yourself. That is not positive especially when he knows you know but he also knows that you are not going to do anything about it out of fear. He will now always use that fear to get his way in the relationship. It might have been a one-time thing, but since you did not put it on brakes, it will become the norm in the relationship.
Or if it is the girlfriend or wife, the two of you have a joint account which both contribute. Or you deposit for household and she takes care of the household stuff from it. At times though, it does not all go into household and most of the time, it ends quickly and you have to now add more money that was never meant to be used in that way. In this you are enabling a bad behavior especially if she is just a spoilt shopaholic. You also need to step on the brakes now, have a fight about it and get over that issue because as soon as you avoid confrontation and chose to be an enable, you are setting a future trend for more bad behavior.
Avoiding creating displeasure from your partner especially if they know they are wrong is setting a bad foundation for a relationship. On the other hand, it is the perfect foundation if your aim is for it not to succeed. People need to know when they are stepping on your toes, if they cannot be kept in check with that, they have a choice to leave. You will appreciate it in the long run. Other times they will accept your terms and that is where you build something meaningful from.
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