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Are Kenyan women unromantic?

06 May 2015, 17:02 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  I will start with the Seng’eng’e Ni Ng’ombe lingerie which is adorned comfortably with well-worn stockings. Among a myriad of other things, is the Kenyan woman romantic? Not romantic in making demands for what she wants but what she does in turn. Isn’t one good deserving of another? So are the Kenyan ladies romantic? Or they just know how to make demands.

Cynthia Nyamai was recently rumored to have booked a hotel room for KES 2.3 million I do not know how true that was. I also wondered did she let the man keep those gifts that accompanied the room or she took them for herself. Because if it was the man who had booked, the woman gets to keep the gifts, or am I wrong. What do we do to enhance romance in our relationships because I rarely hear of the women treating their men to anything?

I will not even go too far but I will refer to people closest to me. My female friends, relatives or family. I have never heard any of them make any special plans or actually really make the effort for anything romantic. Our idea of romance is when we do not cook Ugali that one day it was meant to be eaten then we call it a special dinner and that is where it ends.

I have actually never seen real effort put in buying the men a gift. Only once, while I was in campus did a friend of mine, work for one holiday to save then bought her then boyfriend a really expensive watch. The others are usually buying a pair of socks, a sweater, shirt or tie. Now imagine if for her birthday the man did the same and bought her a pair of socks-for HER BIRTHDAY or Valentine’s Day, being bought a sweater. How will that scenario work out? Anger, rage and recriminations so why doesn’t the woman think that he will not appreciate socks just like she will not appreciate them.

We hate buying men gifts, I hate buying a man gifts. In fact, I used to like it when my ex-boyfriend never bought me anything on my birthday because it took out the pressure for me. Our birthdays followed each other, mine coming first. Mine in June his July. So you see if he had gone all out, I would have been obligated to do the same and I was broke. On the other hand when he forgot like last year, I did not have any pressure on my shoulders.

Women hate buying men gifts that you actually appreciate because men’s stuff is usually so expensive. My shoe, a really good shoe can cost less than Kshs 3000, a man’s goes upward Kshs 5000. You do not want to present him with mtumba.  The Nikes at Nakumatt Mega I once asked and it went for over Kshs 15000-the good kind. So when it is his birthday, you buy a card which he does not give a two cents about, copy paste some words form the internet. Cook rice and beef stew-making him sleep hungry and then we call that romantic.

The Kenyan woman is also a miser by the way. She may want you to spend on her but she will not spend the same on you. I have used the word may because I remember an incident where my father bought my mother an outfit for her birthday. He brought it a few days earlier and presented it to her. She got mad and started ranting how he likes wasting money buying clothes yet she has a lot. So since then, my father stopped buying her anything. Now my mother complains that he does not care. I feel for that man because he can never win. Spend-you are wasting money, do not spend-you do not care.

It’s the few women that actually take the time and effort to do something romantic for her man because in our way of thinking being romantic is the man’s job because the movies said so.

Rarely will you see women in a lingerie shop taking the time to go through them to buy something that she can wear for him. If he wants a lingerie on her, he should get it himself. When he does, he is a pervert and only thinks of sex all the time. She will also complain it is not her size, but when she goes to exchange it, she will get the functional bra, much to his great disappointment. No fifty shades for him!

Complimenting him when he actually does look nice or just texting to find out how his day was. That is his job.  He should tell you when you look beautiful but you cannot do the same because it’s just pants and a shirt and no make-up or weave involved.

We do not call but send a please call me because we are allergic to buying credit. If he does not call first you get mad because it is said, real love is when you are at the center and fore front of his day. He cannot be the same for you though.

How many of you know how to strip tease or pole dance. Believe it or not it is not done in the movies alone. That is why a few months after a relationship starts, it is boring and dull because all that romance is expected from one side while the other side is waited on hand and foot. In my opinion, Kenyan woman are not romantic!

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