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A few tricks to finding the good guy

26 June 2015, 12:55 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi -  Why haven’t you found him yet?

Every other day I am usually energized by the irony of the ‘bad woman’ getting the so-called ‘good guy’. It grates your nerves but it is true, isn’t it? Bad woman? I am not talking about the smoker, party till the weekday is young and sleep with the whole county person. I am talking about the woman who does not really care. She does not care if she grows to forty and still has no man, irony is she always has a man. The one who cares less about the perception of what is a good wife, irony is she always gets the men that are the ‘good husband’. The one who does not care to wash his clothes, clean his house, cook for him while you the good girl bends over backwards to get it done. At the end of the day, you will mop his house while she raises her feet so that you could get it done.

Please, raise your hand, if you were at his house with his friend that had ‘just stopped’ by and you were doing chores! You can pretend and say, ‘you have never’ but we all know at some point some of you have gotten the short end of that ‘shtick’. Yes, the shtick (that is the right spelling) and you know which one I am talking about. The one that does not really care if you were satisfied but got off and left but you still went back in begging for more. That is what massacre penis gets you! Its short end.

 If you are here because you think I am about to impart some wisdom then I am about to fail you because I still never get it. But, I have played that good girl role for quite abit and I am telling you, you can only pull that trigger if he is a settle type of man as well. If he is the kawaida African, Kenyan man that we all come across who has options, then no matter how many dusters you use, he will still not wife your brow beaten, palm hardened, cheapened hands. And that is the truth!

I like men, I won’t lie, so I was not going to go about crusading a massacre against men. I would be lying to you as my reader. I just knew I was going to change tactics. But do not get confused, I was not giving wife duties to any men that were not up my standards. If you are one of those women then you need to stop. Let me put it this way, at times, most times, men become lactose intolerant if the milk is gotten for free. Can you imagine waking up every morning and knowing that the cow is out there and all you have to do is milk it? You can stop working, not hustle but you are sure you will have milk to drink as well as sell if times got too harsh. So why struggle?

Good guys also want the best. Do not confuse a brow beaten man with one who is willing to treat you nicely. There is a difference. The good guy will not want someone who is desperate, or willing to do anything for him. He also wants the good stuff, because he is also working hard to get and be the good in life. He does not want something that every other Tom can deep his equipment in. Let me put it this way. I normally concentrate my energies on one person all in the name of not being slutty and not being whorish. Problem in that is, women we are too used to contact and communication. That is why men have a problem with us sending them all those texts and calls in one day, because we are busy focusing all of it on one man. What that is communicating to him is that he has no competition, no competition means, not worth fighting for. If he is the only one in that race then the victory is not that sweet.

That is what many women have never understood. No matter how up and down you walk prophesying that you have many men after you but the whole day you are talking and texting him alone, he already knows there is no one else. So he does not have to put all his energies in you because he can go, come back, go back again and resurface after two weeks, you will still be there waiting. A man needs to know that you are a prize in order for him to treat you as such. If it is the opposite, then why should he bother? No effort on his part and he is still going to get the milk then I now understand why the bad girl gets the good stuff. In his mind he still has something to conquer every step of that relationship. The day she even washes his plate, he will feel like he has just stormed Rome and got all of them to surrender. The day she even washes a sock is the day he will feel like he has won some contract. That is how those women you think are not worth it to you keep winning. They have never shown that they have something to lose.

Some of you are so desperate to prove your worth that you lose sight of it along the way. Preaching how he shall see! Newsflash! He shall not see anything. You will cook, clean and wash and you will leave and she will come eat off those plates and leave again so that you can come wash them for her… and him again. But you will be the one left wondering what you have to do. If you have kept it going for more than a year then you are a much stronger woman than I.

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