Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.


MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24 Kenya. The stories here come from users.

Latest Badges:

9 reasons women stay in abusive relationships

16 July 2015, 15:57 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Women are good at making excuses for staying in bad relationships. Here are some. 

He is just not in a good place right now

He is allowed to behave badly as long as in her mind she thinks that it is not great at work and thus he is stressed. The money is not coming in right that is why he can be sulky. The man is distant with her, petty quarrels/ snapping at her all of a sudden and pulling back from the relationship; maybe because he is up to no good but she cannot see it because she is busy making excuses for him.

We have a child/ children together

To me this is one of the most credible reasons. Not that I am advocating for you to stay in a situation that is bad and unhealthy for you but I do understand where the woman is coming from. You get a child with this man, it does not work, and you close it and move to the next one. Then you do the same with another man? How many baby fathers’ will you have? That is the problem. You want to deal with only one devil and if you are planning to have three children you hope they have the same father.

The best way to get out of such a situation is just check why you made a poor decision in the first place so that you can make a better one next time. That way you have a better relationship second time around and not fifth time around.

He is healing from a break up

In this case she is helping in the healing process. That is why she is still there waiting for him to heal properly to be with her.

Here, the man told her that he is not ready for a relationship yet because he is just coming from a nasty break up. Women, never forget; if a man wants to be with you, he will put band aid on all his five senses to numb him just so you cannot see if he going through anything at all. He will forget he even had a life before you came along. That is what a man that desires you does- he wants to prove that he is good enough for you.

He will change you’ll see

Marriage and pregnancies do not change a man if he was never a willing participant from the beginning. I am not talking about consensual sex but making the decision to actually have a baby with you or be married to you.  You will force the situation but you will not like the result. Have you ever seen a chicken or any animal for that matter surrounded by five people trying to capture it? It gets frantic because that is a trapped type of situation. Now imagine doing that with a man and you are only one woman- who will win that game at the end? Really ask yourself.

Neither will cooking and or cleaning if he is not the one that put you there. The way a man treats you from the beginning is all the indication you need. Men know how to friend zone too by the way.

He is really a good person, I am the one who gets to see it when you are not around

Hmmmn… where do I start? Because at one point or the other some woman has actually used this line. We all see it when he is with her but apparently when they are in private he gets better. Maybe he just does not like the rest of us and it puts him in a foul mood toward her.

As a friend, you can try save a friend, say your piece but believe it or not a woman will never see your reasoning no matter how well you package it. She is the only one that will ever decide for herself.

He loves me, he just has a different way of showing it

I am not talking about the big gestures and going all the way out like romance in hot air balloons. Simple stuff; caring, mindful, looking out for her interests and showing his responsibility towards her. That is what normal guys do.

Now skip over to the deranged ones. He does not give two rats ass if you died during the night or where you have been in the past month and when he shows up it is really so good she falls back in. The one you saw with some woman at lunch when he skipped an appointment with her without a phone call. Or those that are aggressive with their emotions (I am trying not to say violent) and when he displays his emotions they are not very productive towards her well-being. A woman will stay because in her mind she thinks she is the one that can fix him.

I understand him so I am the one that can make him better

This just covers some of the aforementioned excuses but in some light she thinks she has to help him. She has to be by his side. She has to be the rock that holds down his Excalibur because no other woman and nobody else for that matter can understand him as well as she does.

He is better than nothing at all

To me; desperation is the fruit of all poor decisions. When it comes to relationships, it is worse when a woman chooses to stay with someone who is blatantly mean, bad and or disrespectful to her because she feels she will not find anyone else. She is running out of time. She does not have the time to start over. All the above and more. So she will put up with him because what is the worse that he can do and besides,’ all men are dogs, isn’t that right?’ So better the devil I know than the angel I have yet to come across.

We love each other

This is why I tell people not to be confused with that ‘soul mates’ thing because it can blind you badly. You be with someone who is going to meet you halfway and work with you not someone who tells you ‘I love you’ after a session of ‘lovemaking’ and treats you like shit the rest of the time. That is not a soul mate.

For the latest on national news, politics, sport, entertainment and more follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page!

- MyNews24

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

Read News24’s Comments Policy

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Cyril Mike Odhiz
Kenyans furious on young lady aft...

A young Kenyan woman is the talk of town after she posted a photo with her elderly lover after a round of steamy sex, or so the photo suggested.  Read more...

Submitted by
Kiplangat langat
Uhuru could be a one term Presid...

Bomet governor Isaac Ruto has said that President Uhuru Kenyatta could be a one term President if he fails to increase allocations to the counties. Read more...

Submitted by
Mody Sammy
35 year old farmer a new milliona...

A 35 year old farmer from Mpeketoni Lamu county has become the latest millionaire in town as she became winner in the ongoing ‘Shinda Mamili na Story Ibambe’. Read more...

Submitted by
Shakila Alivitsa
Leave your past relationship bagg...

Leave your past relationship baggage at the door when you start a new relationship. Read more...

Submitted by
Shakila Alivitsa
Advice from a young married Kenya...

I was just going to get water in the office kitchen and thought a simple hi was fine until I ended up in an hour long conversation with someone. Read more...

Submitted by
Shakila Alivitsa
Helping you find the type of man ...

To put it simply, you can’t go looking for fish in a meat market; you have to go to a fish market. Read more...