9 commandments for a peaceful relationship
23 June 2015, 13:43
Nairobi - Obviously, a one parent home or a single parent home is much
easier to run as compared to a home where both parents have to co-exist. Not in
terms of financial, because it is harder but in terms of emotional and psychological.
If that one parent is okay, they do not have to consult anyone, argue with
anyone, feel undermined by anyone but just make the final decision as they are
the final word.
For other traditional
homes, having both the father and the mother it is usually much more different
and complex because they need to act like one and be a team for the home to be
harmonious. Otherwise, it is usually a disastrous reoccurring event of
disagreements, and someone not talking to the other. Or in some cases the battle
of the parents. What needs to always be maintained is that the only way a home
can be peaceful and productive for all; that includes children, is if the
parents are okay the home will be okay!
Have a balance between your work life and home life
A lot of people struggle with this part of the family, not
just the men but the women too. The woman is also fast becoming the breadwinner
and with the option of the help slowly limiting the time that she appears at
home. If you can find time for work, yes it is important as it maintains your
home, you should also work hard to be there for your family. Both as the father
and as the mother.
Have spousal time
Most of the time parents forget that before they were
parents, they were someone’s boyfriend, or girlfriend. They forget that
meaning, they close of that part of their life and forget that the other person
still needs that in their life. Opening the door to adultery, cheating, and any
forms of marital dishonesty and infidelity.
Just like you create time to do homework with your child,
create time to be with your spouse, talk to them about them and just you not
the children, bills and or relatives or the boss.
Your family should come first
Because after everything goes and it is all said and done,
they are the only thing that cannot be taken from you. Erased. Or claimed. What you do with them, say to them and decide
on will be a reflection of what you think of them. Put aside everything else
that dictates how you should handle them, your time with them and outside
input. No one knows them better than you do. So always do what is best for them
and not what everyone else might recommend.
Everyone needs appreciation for what they do. Books will
tell you not to expect it but humans err and when they do something they want
someone to stop and take notice. The wife from the husband, the husband from
the wife, the children from the parents and the parents from the children. The
deed may be small but if you take notice give them a thumbs up. It does wonders
and makes the work and push harder for bigger and better just for you so they
can get the pat on the back again. Appreciation makes a person reach higher
when they could have settle for the current.
Do not undermine your spouse
In front of the children. Sometimes parents can join the
league of kindergarten children. Their methods of warfare can be juvenile. A
parent knows how they feel about their children and they also know their
partner feels the same way. When they do not get along, the arsenal is usually
Do not make the other parent look bad to the children. It
might feel good but if you can do that they can also do that and that is a
situation you do not want.
Self-explanatory. Respect someone’s thoughts. Respect
someone’s ideas. Respect someone’s efforts, their ambition, their hard work,
their time, their side of the family, their friends (this one can be
subjective). It may not look big to you or that important but remember they are
important to them. That includes the children just because you shelter them
does not mean they should be made to feel any less.
No room for grudges
If you have an issue, let it be known. If someone has an
issue, let it be solved. Grudges that build up over years become disastrous
eventually and can cause a drift that is irreparable in the family. You do not
Respect everyone’s opinion and let them be reflected in the
Create time to sped as a family
Does not have to be serious conversations or solving issues.
Family should also be able to have fun together and not be a pain in anyone’s
crow. It may be having dinner or breakfast together but we all know that rarely
work because of different schedules. Just find the time all of you can sit down
together and do something you all enjoy together. If you do not enjoy the same
thing, take turns to enjoy each of your pass times. That is the only way
everyone will look forward to it and you will also learn about every member of
Does not have to be a whole day either, an hour is
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