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7 reasons he does not want you to move in

20 May 2015, 18:38 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Normally, it starts with a one night stay but after Sunday she is still there. You do not understand on Monday morning where she got the clothes to go to work. You are yet to break out in a sweat because, at least she will now go back to her usual routine.

But come Monday evening, there is a weird scent coming from your one room bedsitter. You did not leave the light on. So you proceed with caution and wonder whether you should alert your neighbor of the burglar you are about to catch.

You push the slightly ajar door, spot a black paper bag at the corner of the bed, it looks really stuffed. You cross reference with your brain whether some relative was meant to come over. Nope, no one!

Then she comes out from some place, behind the door, maybe the cooking section, I don’t know but you know. She has cooked you some Ugali and some concoction you are yet to identify! It is at this moment that Dick knew, he was screwed!

He still was yet to figure out what he was about with her, after that one night, he was pretty sure that she was not the one. He was still deciding who to now take out that coming weekend between Nancy and her friend who had been eyeing you on the sly. She has just ruined your threesome fantasy.

Fact No. 1: Men, did you know that, if you have been texting, calling and eating at Kenchic together on those random nights, she was still deciding what you were about. After you had sex, you are officially her boyfriend.

Thusly, for those dense men who are yet to get the point, you are in a relationship and it is not weird when she moves in skirt by shirt on a weekly basis.

But ladies, that is a really bad habit. There is a reason that a man does not rush the moving in part of the relationship with you.

It makes it a lot easier for him to sleep hungry when he wants so that he can have that extra money that weekend.

It makes it a lot easier for him to go to work without breakfast and figure it out during the day.

It makes it a lot easier for him to have black tea because milk is almost a handsome fifty shillings and he will not finish the whole thing. He does not have a fridge to store the rest, so he just does without it and keeps the fifty for lunch.

It makes it easier for him to sleep early because KPLC just tricked him on his tokens and it was not in his budget. Also let us be honest, the water bill, he can perfectly regulate.

The problem is when you get to his house, you are making him have to think for two and he really likes thinking of one, namely him. He has to worry what you will eat. And one week of Sukuma wiki, we all know will not be your cup of tea. You want breakfast and now he has to figure out your bus fare because we know you will not pull out any wads of cash when the tout comes calling.

See how you have just ruined the budget? Let us not even get to the water and electricity bill! SMH!

Then you also like chattering and he starts missing that solitude. Soon enough you start asking why there is no television or fridge in the house. No microwave. You are already planning for his money indirectly. That is a piss off.

Gentlemen, instead of frowning and looking grumpy and her having to figure things out, we are really logical people by the way.

We have those moments where common sense can work although not your way. Just tell her you cannot afford to live with her, that simple! Honesty is the best policy. Although you will still be screwed.

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- MyNews24

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