7 reasons he does not want you to move in
20 May 2015, 18:38
Nairobi - Normally, it starts with a one night stay but after Sunday
she is still there. You do not understand on Monday morning where she got the
clothes to go to work. You are yet to break out in a sweat because, at least
she will now go back to her usual routine.
But come Monday evening, there is a weird scent coming from
your one room bedsitter. You did not leave the light on. So you proceed with
caution and wonder whether you should alert your neighbor of the burglar you
are about to catch.
You push the slightly ajar door, spot a black paper bag at
the corner of the bed, it looks really stuffed. You cross reference with your
brain whether some relative was meant to come over. Nope, no one!
Then she comes out from some place, behind the door, maybe
the cooking section, I don’t know but you know. She has cooked you some Ugali
and some concoction you are yet to identify! It is at this moment that Dick
knew, he was screwed!
He still was yet to figure out what he was about with her,
after that one night, he was pretty sure that she was not the one. He was still
deciding who to now take out that coming weekend between Nancy and her friend
who had been eyeing you on the sly. She has just ruined your threesome fantasy.
Fact No. 1: Men, did you know that, if you have been
texting, calling and eating at Kenchic together on those random nights, she was
still deciding what you were about. After you had sex, you are officially her
Thusly, for those dense men who are yet to get the point,
you are in a relationship and it is not weird when she moves in skirt by shirt
on a weekly basis.
But ladies, that is a really bad habit. There is a reason
that a man does not rush the moving in part of the relationship with you.
It makes it a lot easier for him to sleep hungry when he
wants so that he can have that extra money that weekend.
It makes it a lot easier for him to go to work without
breakfast and figure it out during the day.
It makes it a lot easier for him to have black tea because
milk is almost a handsome fifty shillings and he will not finish the whole
thing. He does not have a fridge to store the rest, so he just does without it
and keeps the fifty for lunch.
It makes it easier for him to sleep early because KPLC just
tricked him on his tokens and it was not in his budget. Also let us be honest,
the water bill, he can perfectly regulate.
The problem is when you get to his house, you are making him
have to think for two and he really likes thinking of one, namely him. He has
to worry what you will eat. And one week of Sukuma wiki, we all know will not
be your cup of tea. You want breakfast and now he has to figure out your bus
fare because we know you will not pull out any wads of cash when the tout comes
See how you have just ruined the budget? Let us not even get
to the water and electricity bill! SMH!
Then you also like chattering and he starts missing that
solitude. Soon enough you start asking why there is no television or fridge in
the house. No microwave. You are already planning for his money indirectly.
That is a piss off.
Gentlemen, instead of frowning and looking grumpy and her
having to figure things out, we are really logical people by the way.
We have those moments where common sense can work although
not your way. Just tell her you cannot afford to live with her, that simple!
Honesty is the best policy. Although you will still be screwed.
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