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6 types of friends to avoid in your relationship

18 February 2015, 17:14 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There is a reason why women are more frienemies than friends.  You can never be too sure of the people you have in your circle.

There is also a reason why most men ban their girlfriends and wives from seeing some friends. As women we can at times be blinded by loyalty; especially when you are the one giving it but in turn you receive false loyalty instead.


Some friendly advice might be good but at times they are a bit underhanded in efforts of undermining a relationship that you have or are trying to build; it is called manipulation. The man can see it but you do not want to because we do not like being told what to do and also because we do not want a man to think that he has control over our lives now.


When you let your friends disrespect/ belittle your partner

Making him go on errands for them, so that he can win the group’s loyalty. Name calling and even being explicitly insulting towards your partner. It does not matter if you are the one who came up with the insult in a fit of anger or tirade, but they are not allowed to do it. If you do not put a stop to it, the man just walks away because you are also showing support of their disrespect towards him by not doing anything.


When your friends flirt with your man but it becomes his fault

‘Sister’ code dictates that you should not flirt with your friend’s man or rather go after what is there’s but a lot of women ignore that because they claim it is harmless. Friends who are not averse to making you feel unworthy or feel bad; they openly flirt with him in front of you and place the blame on his shoulders. Either he should not have entertained it, or they excuse it by saying he probably does it outside when you are not around. It is not the man’s responsibility to deflect them but yours to put boundaries that they need to respect.


The ones who give bad advice

You know the one’s whose every solution to your little spat is to leave him.  The grass is never greener on the other side, women can be ruled by jealousy and envy when it comes to their counterparts. They would rather have you in the same situation as them; single or in a worse situation because they can now feel better about what is wrong in their situation.


The ones who mention your dirty secrets when your man is around

Maybe not pronouncing but dropping hints here and there in the middle of a conversation which arouse doubts in his mind about you. They do it jokingly or while laughing to make it look like a jest when in real sense they want to spill the beans and ruin it for you. Be careful about what you share with friends because they are usually the ones to get it out. They are not against mentioning the ex whom you were with a long time ago.


Those who encourage you to teach

You have not known this guy for long but you like him and your friends know he reciprocates. But when you are out on a girls night and they see someone looking interested in you they are the first to encourage even push you to do something about it.

The friends who look for flaws in your partner

As long as it makes you insecure about your new love interest that is fine with them. Friends who never see any good in a guy you see are not people you should be taking advice from.  It is a double edged sword because if it is warranted and you can see it then that is good. On the other hand, if they are the type that have to dig to find it then you should be able to put a stop to them meddling in your life.

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