6 types of friends to avoid in your relationship
18 February 2015, 17:14
Nairobi - There is a reason why women are more frienemies than
friends. You can never be too sure of
the people you have in your circle.
There is also a
reason why most men ban their girlfriends and wives from seeing some friends.
As women we can at times be blinded by loyalty; especially when you are the one
giving it but in turn you receive false loyalty instead.
Some friendly advice might be good but at times they are a
bit underhanded in efforts of undermining a relationship that you have or are
trying to build; it is called manipulation. The man can
see it but you do not want to because we do not like being told what to do and
also because we do not want a man to think that he has control over our lives
When you let your friends disrespect/ belittle your partner
Making him go on errands for them, so that he can win the
group’s loyalty. Name calling and even being explicitly insulting towards your
partner. It does not matter if you are the one who came up with the insult in a
fit of anger or tirade, but they are not allowed to do it. If you do not put a
stop to it, the man just walks away because you are also showing support of their
disrespect towards him by not doing anything.
When your friends flirt with your man but it becomes his
‘Sister’ code dictates that you should not flirt with your
friend’s man or rather go after what is there’s but a lot of women ignore that
because they claim it is harmless. Friends who are not averse to making you
feel unworthy or feel bad; they openly flirt with him in front of you and place
the blame on his shoulders. Either he should not have entertained it, or they
excuse it by saying he probably does it outside when you are not around. It is
not the man’s responsibility to deflect them but yours to put boundaries that
they need to respect.
The ones who give bad advice
You know the one’s
whose every solution to your little spat is to leave him. The grass is never greener on the other side,
women can be ruled by jealousy and envy when it comes to their counterparts.
They would rather have you in the same situation as them; single or in a worse
situation because they can now feel better about what is wrong in their
The ones who mention your dirty secrets when your man is
Maybe not pronouncing
but dropping hints here and there in the middle of a conversation which arouse
doubts in his mind about you. They do it jokingly or while laughing to make it
look like a jest when in real sense they want to spill the beans and ruin it
for you. Be careful about what you share with friends because they are usually
the ones to get it out. They are not against mentioning the ex whom you were
with a long time ago.
Those who encourage you to teach
You have not known
this guy for long but you like him and your friends know he reciprocates. But
when you are out on a girls night and they see someone looking interested in
you they are the first to encourage even push you to do something about it.
The friends who look for flaws in your partner
As long as it makes you insecure about your new love
interest that is fine with them. Friends who never see any good in a guy you
see are not people you should be taking advice from. It is a double edged sword because if it is
warranted and you can see it then that is good. On the other hand, if they are
the type that have to dig to find it then you should be able to put a stop to
them meddling in your life.
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