6 tips on men my mother gave me
07 March 2016, 18:06
Nairobi - I have a friend that lost her mother while we were in
Campus. She sometimes worries who will help her when it is that time where your
mother comes to help you after you have given birth. Told her she could borrow
mine, because I am sure she will enjoy it too. Not that I was trying to solver
her problem, but I was telling her something that would make her feel better
than telling her something redundant. She does not have any good female
A mother is a treasure but a Maragoli mother is even better.
You will never get bored or tired. She is just something else. As I am typing
at the moment, she has decided she is bored, I tell her since you grew up with
no money, ‘why don’t you go to a spa or treat yourself at a hotel and come
back?’ She decided to go and dig in the shamba;
like, ‘you can take the girl out of the village but not the village out of the
woman.’ She had to have a garden at her house in Nairobi. Then she will wake up
tomorrow and complain how she has no one to go on fancy dates with.
My friend would like the advice my mother gives.
She already has a
criterion for the husband she will accept from me
The superficial stuff first; ‘He better not have plaited
hair, have dreadlocks, or pierced his ears (my mother does not understand that
the era I was born in every man had their ears pierced). Her question is, ‘How
will such a man lead you in life while he is busy going to the salon with you?’
Her thinking is that she will never take such a man seriously and neither
should I. I asked, ‘What about a tattoo?’ She threw a drum at me. I never even
saw it coming; she just lifted it and hurled it. She still thinks that I have
the devil inside me because I got a belly ring. She once asked me how I would give
birth and I countered, ‘Do you give birth through your belly button?’
not chase a man, but would rather let the man chase you
It is not that she thinks I need to play hard to get but
that I would rather just have a man who appreciates having me. This is why I
told her I am not marrying a handsome man. Handsome men have the tendency to
want to be waited on because that is what most women do for them. She was
rather hurt that she might have ugly
grandchildren, but she got over it because she understood what I was saying.
Don’t be a
She is not saying it as a joke by the way. She married a
Muslim man thinking she was the first until the first wife’s children popped
up. When she tells me don’t be a second wife, I listen because I know she knows
what she is talking about. That is never ending drama, I would mention a couple
of people you know but I will just leave it to you to fill in the blanks.
If a man
is miserable he will bring that misery in your life
My man has never encouraged me to work with a man’s
potential. She says there is potential, and then there is potential. If a man
is a hard worker consider it. Don’t be the one always picking up someone every
time they mess up because they are always having someone else they are enjoying
the good times with. You are not it if
you only see him when he is miserable. Let him be.
Chase the money, and
then chase a man
Have a career and a life so that a man will never find you
when you are miserable. Be good to yourself and you will attract the good ones.
If you are waiting on someone who will elevate you, he will always see the
miserable person you always were and he will always treat you as such. Don’t
expect any better. If a man lifts and he suddenly becomes wicked, those are just the true colors
showing up and he is about to remind you of all the good things he has done for
You better not bring
me any children to take care of; I closed that chapter
Read the above excerpt then add this. My mother installed the fear of the gods in
me and it has worked as a good birth control. She already cautioned me about
getting children without getting the right man. It has always been;
school-job-career-man then children. No children if you cannot even take care
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