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6 things a woman must know

06 July 2015, 17:34 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - I have a fear of driving. Driving myself. I have seen the way Public Service Vehicles are driven, especially the way they just swerve in front of other vehicles, the way they spin out of control and cause accidents or cause havoc. So after high school I avoided driving school because I told my stupid self I would hire a driver. A few years down the line, little sister goes to driving school and now is quite the expert driver. I immediately enrolled and got my license but I still do not like the idea of driving on Kenyan roads.

One thing a woman should be able to do is transport herself

It does not necessarily have to do with you driving, even though it is important but you have to know how to get yourself anywhere without a problem. Paying fare should not be tricky, hopefully for most of you. I hope you do not get a salary buy a KES 4000 bag from money set aside for your fare then have to borrow later to go to work.

I learnt driving yourself is important from watching my parents have a tag of war every time she needed to go somewhere and my father had to do it. He once told her he is not her personal chauffeur. So the woman can afford a car, its gas, has a license that has not been renewed in over ten years but because she did not practice and is afraid, has to lag around heavy groceries while the car basks in the sun.

You need to learn to change your tyre

Being a damsel in distress looks good in the movies, especially those vintage movies. In real life on the other hand, when you tyre gets punctures at night and you were travelling really late with no tow truck services or garages nearby, you will wish for that skill. Same applies to unruly weather. That is the day that you will realize no gentleman wants to get out in the rain to help you while he gets muddy and late for work.

Always have a comfortable pair of shoes, gloves (for those with expensive manicure), bottle of water (to wash hands) and a raincoat. Try to eat Ugali too, you do not want a screw to come loose while you are on Thika highway at rush hour. Plan B is, as soon as you spot a garage, tell them to recheck for you. Maybe you have been lucky to have help or get break downs near a garage but luck always runs out. Better safe than sorry.

Take care of herself financially

All your financial responsibilities; your rent, your fare, your food, your car (if any), your social activities, your life, your child. You are not allowed to be dependent on your parent’s, your partner (s) or any relationships that you are in. That is how you make bad decisions. That is how women stay in bad relationships. That is how you get in trouble. Money is trouble and if you do not have your own that is trouble that allows someone else to control your life. Have your own money so that you are free to make your own decisions and someone else cannot control you.

Make your own decisions or plan

Once in our lives we always have someone to help us make decisions. Maybe what we should do, what business we can manage, the right way to go and even what place is right for us to live. It is just a relief when it goes wrong you can partially place the blame on someone else’s shoulder so that they can foot part of the damage.

Things change and at times you will find yourself alone, will you be able to go on all on your own or will you be stuck because they are no longer there? You need to know how to stand on your own two feet without help because either way, it is not so good for people to know your business all the time.

You should be able to live and survive alone

As a woman there is nothing greater that you will ever achieve other than living on your own at least once in your life. Most of us come straight form out parents’ home and immediately go into our boyfriend’s or husband’s house.

What we all overlook is that what that takes out for us is that you have never known how to be responsible for yourself and making decisions on your own without turning to someone. You can be faulty because you know you will fall and just bounce off that mattress. What that has taken is, your survival instinct. You know you will never sleep hungry and that you will always have a place to sleep. As a woman you need to know how to be pragmatic and practical as well as know how to be a fighter. The only way you get that is by living on your own.

Getting out of binds

Maybe that sexual harassment at work, you run to your boyfriend to handle it? He is a junior at some desk job, what do you expect him to do? File a law suit?

Or changing a tyre at midnight? So you get someone out of bed? Or if it is miles away, wait?

Maybe it is filing documents and some person wants a kitu kidogo. Learn how to handle your business all by yourself and nothing will give you greater satisfaction. When you can do things without running to someone to help you figure it out because you can’t, you are one step closer to achieving self-satisfaction and fulfillment. No one will ever be able to wave it in your face what you cannot do because you will know that you can. They can walk out for all you care.

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