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6 things a man should never be afraid to tell a woman

05 February 2015, 18:48 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - Men are never if rarely ruled by fear or so we hope. But it truly can baffle the mind when a man will do all he can just to avoid a particular type of conversation with a woman of interest or their woman. He will pretend either he has not heard the question, or grunt for a response, lie by omission or just plain lie. Just as long as it gets him what he wants or avoid a confrontation. There are things you should not be afraid of saying to her though.

I am in a relationship - I am married

The other day I was in a matatu going home from wherever I had been. This man sits next to me, a few stops a head when he is asked for fare, he gives it and it is like he suddenly remembered something he had forgotten. A ring! So he pulls it out and puts it back on. Seems that that old trick has never gone out of the market even at the supposed attraction of married men. He was sweating on the face, so I got really lurid images of what he had been up to without the wedding ring, does not matter that it was in the afternoon and he was in a suit-the image stuck.

If you are taken let it not be something that you have to hide it just becomes a complication that you do not need. Tell the woman and let it be her decision to make. Sow your wild oats but within bounds of honesty.

You have a child

Do not wait to surprise when you are settled into the relationship because she will never trust you. Especially if the child’s mother is the one that pops up with an emergency.

You are not girlfriend pretty

That is code for you are not my type. I never understood what this meant until I finally figured out why some relationships are done undercover. Only booty calls, no meeting your associates/family or the boys. It is all done in the dark where he does not have to introduce you to anyone. Save a woman some grief and be upfront with her. Give her the chance to decide to move on rather than lead her a merry chase when she is not really what you want. Let the man who wants her have a chance at it.

Be tactful with your words though you can get beaten up.

You do not want a relationship

Maybe because you just want sex, a fling or something. But tell the woman that you are not looking for commitment and you are not changing your mind. The rest is up to her, some take it and some do not. But you are in the clear as long as you clearly told her.

You do not know how to cook

Not so much in those words, but it is better for her to learn what she cannot do and work on it rather than you letting her believe she is good then being embarrassed later. She will be angry but a woman can have sense afterwards and ask for pointers because we always like being the best at everything.

That outfit does not work

Men put up with beautiful, intelligent smart woman who only have one flaw, styling themselves. It is something that can be changed but only if it is pointed out. Do not do it after she has left the house though because she cannot do anything about it then. Wait for after she gets back and can actually do something about it. Too much make-up applies here too.

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