6 signs you are using your partner
15 July 2015, 17:19
Nairobi - You hit 30. Have everything on the right track: career, earning good money, a house and or business and now it is time to settle down and do the last thing on your list. Get a man on that bandwagon and have a family. Believe it or not, what a man can do, a woman can do better (if she sits down and thinks of it properly with no destructions) except grow a penis!
At times, just as it is convenient to own a car while it is raining and muddy at five o’ clock in the morning; it can also be convenient to be in a relationship or decide to try ‘that marriage thing’.
How to tell if your relationship or marriage is for convenience
He helps you in your financial woes
Who has a sponsor? A lot of you married or people in a relationship. Do not judge me because you know it is true. He does not have to be old neither does you being exclusive exclude the fact that you are with a man using him for money.
Let me put it this way, if he left you or he decided that you no longer suited; will you able to maintain yourself. Would you be able to pay your rent? Take care of your own bills and or your children? What if he took your car as well? A lot of women stay in relationships despite the unsuitability that they later come to realize or the foul things he does. As the friend you do not get it because for a lot of women they like boasting how they are holding it together and running their lives. Most of the time it is not so. To maintain her lifestyle, she just has to keep staying with the same man or wait until something better comes along.
The relationship makes you more unhappy than happy
You are constantly stressed. At times you are anxious-not to see them but not to see them but you live in the same house. You are always worried about one thing or the other where they are concerned and no day passes without you wishing you could leave.
The reason I am always advocating for you to leave and not work at something that you clearly see is not working is because for me a relationship should be a safe haven. At any point in life it is the one place that you can run back to regardless of whether you are not talking to each other since last Tuesday that you will be sure you can find comfort.
Now you get back from work and when you get home a warzone is also waiting, where shall you find peace? That is how you die young and get funny diseases, because you get high blood pressure from your partner.
He misbehaves but you still stay
No matter what he does, what he says, where he goes; you will not leave. You are always saying how you will leave but when he gets back you are still there. ‘What are you waiting for?’, that is what he asks. That man will abuse you but it is because he knows you are trying to figure out options and you are coming up nil that is why he plays.
He knows that you cannot leave because at times you just do not know where to start.
They do not treat you right but you stay
Not because you do not have options. Not because you do not know your worth and how they should treat you but because at times it is twenty years down the line and starting again is not as simple as everyone makes it out to be. It is hard especially when the kids have moved out and you have a couple of grey hairs. It is much simpler to continue as you have over the past.
It is hard to start over
Like mentioned, it is at times harder to leave than to stay. Your job will not afford to pay rent, and school and the help and generally take care of you if you leave. It can help in some things but not all things. At times you do not even have a job- the unemployed are complaining and you want to add to that statistic?
So you bite your tongue, do not raise your chin as you make a plan.
Nobody has to wonder if they are in a convenient relationship because the woman already knows. Just because she does not open her mouth to tell you about it does not mean that she is a fool.
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