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6 signs of a bad relationship

05 August 2015, 16:38 Shakila Alivitsa

Nairobi - There are some glaring things that women usually ignore that cost them their relationships. Here are a few.

Possessive and clingy vs. Looking out for you

One is being insecure while the other is caring. Do not confuse the two. One wants to dictate where you are, who you should be with and when or how. The other wants to know where you are to see if you are safe and with people who can take care of you in case you get too drunk to get yourself home. If you cannot tell the difference then you are in a mess already.

Ogling every woman vs. Appreciating a good looking woman

Even I have to admit that at times when I see a good looking woman who is well dressed and her make-up is well applied, I will stare and appreciate her good efforts. If she is my colleague I will stare Monday to Saturday if I get the opportunity. I would not mind if I see my man doing what I am also doing. On the other hand, if your man is the type that stares at every woman in his vicinity especially if he is on a date with you; that is a red flag. He does not respect you enough to pay attention to you but spends the whole time looking at everything that passes. He is a wanderer.

Wife beater vs.  ….

Any form of violence is never ignored but I just have to share this story to explain why I put this one up. A friend of mine was seeing this guy and they were far gone in the relationship. At some point it became rocky and the guy comes back home drunk one night; an argument ensues and he hits her. A fist on the cheek. So she asks him, ‘You are now a wife beater?’ He answered, ‘But you are not a wife!’ I will just leave this at that hoping that you get the point.

Your own gut feeling and instincts

We all ignore our own guts most of the time because we are thinking that it is our fear preventing us from making the right decision. Most of the time, it is your subconscious pointing out that something is not really good for you when your conscious is about to make the wrong decision. Most of the time it is better to pay attention to your gut and save yourself the drama and the pain that comes later.

Lavish spendthrift vs.  Living well

There is a difference between draining your bank account to live a life you can clearly not afford; as compared to being prudent when it comes to living a good lifestyle. Know which corner your man is in because that is what you are going to deal with when you choose to commit to him.

Alcoholic vs.  Casual drinking

An alcoholic is not a person who has to have a stiff drink after getting at home from a hectic work day. One and he is done, that is okay. Alcoholic is the one that takes a whole bottle, every day of the week, finishes it and has to take a shot in the morning to have a good work day. On the weekend? He is in a stupor and rouses himself up Sunday evening. So Sunday evening is the only time he might be sober. That is an alcoholic.

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